KRISTY The shit also happens to the stars

Between girls

Frédérique is free.  She suggests that I meet at the nightclub in the neighborhood where we are regulars.  I hug my grandparents hard.  My father hugs me, telling me he's happy that I'm home and whispers in my ear:

- Do what feels best for you.  Don't be afraid to be selfish.

Message received five out of five, thank you dad.  My brother kisses me in turn:

- You owe me a one-on-one.  We do not know yet found you and me.
- Promised!

I wave to them all.  I take my pouch from near the entrance.  I go out and decide to go there on foot.  After all, I only have a twenty minute walk.  I need some exercise.
The streets are very well lit.  Impossible to get lost.  At this hour, the district is very lively.  All the shops are still open and the cars keep rolling.  I meet several groups of young people.

I have already arrived in front of the Night-club.  Frederique must be inside.  Knowing her, she took her car.
The bouncer nods at me and lets me in.  It's darker inside than in the parking lot.  I go down the black stairs covered with sequins and edged with led.  I scan the room for Frederique.  The floor is the continuation of the stairs.  The walls are covered with a dark royal blue wall fabric.  They are so bright that you can almost see yourself in them.  Behind the huge bar in stained oak, a luminous screen as imposing as the bar plunges us into an aquatic universe.  The furniture evokes a contemporary and refined style.  The seats of the chairs, benches and bar stools are in velvet in the same azure blue as that of the screen.  The benches are an invitation in themselves.  They are so comfortable!
The room is packed with people.  I move forward to see better but cannot find it.  When suddenly I see two pairs of arms waving.  Joana joined us too, we are full again.  Frédérique came to pick her up from her home.  Mad with joy, I join them.  They ordered me a glass overflowing with crushed ice, as I like!
After the ritual of hugs, I collapse on the bench.  I take a sip of the cocktail.  The girls immediately realize that something is wrong.  I tell them about the course of the evening.  They agree that Elliot is afraid of losing me.  For him, marriage is making sure that I don't escape him.  However, the exact opposite is happening.  I think now is not the right time.  To rush like he does, I rather want him to let go of me a bit.  The girls suggest that I forget about her for the rest of the night.  What I intend to do.  I chase my black ideas.  It's not going to make me feel guilty.

The rest of the evening is going wonderfully.  I'm having fun !  We're really having a good time.  We tell each other about our last weeks of life.  We remember childhood memories.  Mainly, the bullshit, we made tons of it.  Our parents suffered!  Not to mention that I was a tomboy.
I forget all my worries.  On the dance floor, I'm light years away from noticing a pretty, bleached blonde sitting at the bar watching me out of the corner of my eye.
It's getting late, the girls have to get up early.  They prefer to go home.  I am not tired.  I prefer to stay.  I could ask Christopher to come get me.  The girls are gone, I go to the bathroom to freshen up.

- Hi !

I look up from the sink.  I see a young woman of my age in the mirror.

- Uh .... Hi!
- Can I buy you a drink?
- Why not !

We're going to sit at the bar.  She looks at me frankly.  It unsettles me a bit.

- What do you take ?
- A beer.
- Ok, two beers please!  Me, it's Thelma!
- Kristy!
- I know, who doesn't recognize you?

His gaze is so intense.  I get lost in his eyes.  I find myself smiling stupidly at him.  She gives it back to me.

- You used to come here?  I have never seen you.
- As often as possible !

Thelma asks me a lot of questions.  I have the impression that she is interested in me, in my profession.  She gives me compliments.  The discomfort that I felt at the beginning is gone.  She makes me laugh.
It's my turn to ask the questions.  She is 23 years old.  She's a bartender in a big hotel on Hollywood Boulevard.  She saw me one day, crossing the hotel lobby.  I looked in a hurry.  I explained to him that I had an interview to give in one of the rooms with several journalists.  She thinks my job is fascinating.  And, it is!  I have the feeling, that she understands me, that she guesses what I feel.  During the whole conversation, she keeps putting her hand on mine or on my shoulder.  It's like, she can't help but touch me.  I like it !  It's a strange, new feeling.  When she touches me, I shiver!  When she looks at me, I blush!
Come the moment when she comes very slightly closer to me.  She runs her hand through my hair.  My heart is racing.  As long as she doesn't notice that I'm sweating.  She gets even closer.  I'm going to faint !  Now she is close to our noses touching.  I can smell his breath.  She sees my stress so she smiles at me.  She puts her lips on mine.  They are as if linked to each other.  I close my eyes.  Time stops !  Nothing exists around but the warmth of his mouth.  When she pulls her lips away from mine, I keep my eyes closed for a few seconds.  So that this moment never ceases.  When I open my eyes, her gaze is soft.

- You had never done that before?

I slowly come to my senses.

- I should not have done that !  I have someone in my life.
- It's a man ?
- Yes, his name is Elliot.
- Are you sure you care about him?  Because if you did, you wouldn't have kissed me.

Thelma is right.  I have to come to my senses.  There must be a logical explanation for what just happened.

- I'll go home.
- Shall I take you home?
- No thank you, I'll walk.
- Are you sure ?  I am not reassured that you are walking home alone?
- I'll be fine, I'm used to it.
- Ok, get my number.

She hands me a piece of paper where she has scribbled down her phone number.  I slip it into my pocket.

- Don't hesitate, call me whenever you want!  What you experienced this evening is not a utopia.  This is our story!

She kisses me one last time on the corner of the mouth.  And disappears, like a mirage!  I must be sleeping.  I am dreaming.  I will wake up.

On the way back, I walk like a sleepwalker.  Did it really happen?  Are all his emotions real?  I do not understand what is happening to me.  I am in love with Elliot.  I feel good with him, even if sometimes he annoys me a bit.  I mean, Thelma is a woman.  It's impossible !  I may need a rest.  Tomorrow everything will be back to normal.  So why did you agree to take her phone number?  It doesn't follow any rational logic.

In my bed, I'm stiff to break my bones.  I can not sleep.  I pass and repeat tonight's kiss over and over again.  When I close my eyes, it's worse.  I have the sensation of feeling Thelma breathing.  So I keep my eyes wide open.
Sleep finally wins the day.  The last thing I think about before I fall asleep is Thelma!