TripleEz is Coming

Small Metallic Balls

 We’ve seen something beautiful. They were so miniscule and so completely perfect. They were fixed to a base by some loose attraction that pulled in us robots but didn’t seem to affect our human slaves. It was… something else. Sshpork, a robot trained for war in the tunnels that lie deep beneath the surface of Mercury, touched that black oval and shrunk down, crushing and crumbling and falling apart until he was just a small ball of metal. Sshpork, who was unfortunately never the brightest, disobeyed rule one of tactical combat training. Never touch an unknown substance. He probably won’t be missed.

 After that we got Fifi to pick it up and feed it to Bobby. His third eye is now silver. He has gone down to two tails now but has six legs and his horn appears to have become somewhat elastic so we’re a bit worried about that. Fifi declined to give a statement as her sensory organ has become a deep and pure shade of black where she came into contact with the thing. That’s what we’re calling it. The thing.

 A few of the balls escaped but we aren’t sure if any of them are Sshpork. We’ve initiated a base wide lockdown and have a group of traitors out there wearing numerous magnets in the hope of making the balls destroy them. We do need some way of punishing those who fail the cause and using them to collect suspect metal balls seems a good way to do it. Community service and capital punishment rolled into one! We’ve also agreed that any who come out of this unchanged will be released. We just didn’t mention that by released we meant that we’d release them into outer space. Robots don’t betray the cause, obviously. All of the traitors are humans. We would never infringe on a robot’s right to exist.

 In the gap between me writing the last paragraph and this one we have been sent one of those cryptic messages by none other than Luke and Lucy Fer of the Fer Foundation. They have told us that the miniature spheres are what happens to the soulless when they die. Luke then screamed ‘Gotcha’ at the top of his lungs and disappeared. I can translate every known language save Rabies’s strange means of communication but this word seems to escape me. All I know is that I for one do not want to become a small metal ball trapped to a black base.

 Lucy has left a note stuck to the wall. It reads:

 “They don’t. Luke’s idea. When the soulless are destroyed nobody knows what happens. It is no doubt infinitely worse than becoming a blob of iron. Don’t fret. Your time will come and we will laugh at your pain.”

 Well. This has been an interesting discussion of robotic afterlives. I might just stop now before I discover something that I may not have wanted to know.

 Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobt