TripleEz is Coming

It's Goatee Time Again

Well, my most dear readers, it seems to me that it is that most dreaded time of year for all organic creatures. It is the TIME OF THE GOATEE. Nobody quite knows what is so threatening about the TIME OF THE GOATEE but there is something deadly that leaves so many single and alone, especially human females and Venusian males who aren’t supposed to have facial hair. For others, the problem is just how little the goatee suits them. Remember, being alone at the TIME OF THE GOATEE is normal and is not a sign of your worth, or lack of it as the case may be.

 Seeing the usual crowd of brainwashed human slaves running around patting at these growths is strange. Very, very strange. They all look really weird, almost weirder than last years lot did. Mysterious Ezila has, in what is no doubt a statement of support, drawn a goatee onto the metal where her face would be. It looks ridiculous but is very artistically done. I’ve decided to abstain from doodling such a monstrosity onto my own visage. I’m scared that my ocular sensors would self destruct at that sight every time I looked into one of our new mirrors.

 Apparently, General Morris is furious about the new addition to her very, well it’s supposed to be, military style. She claims, in song lyrics, that it is reducing her credibility and that her troops keep laughing at her and each other which is in turn reducing their efficiency. Apparently that is not good. TripleEz has posted a picture of their cowboy hat bearing head thing on Facelessbook but this time she/they/it/he is stroking a newly sprouted goatee. I think that they/it/he/she is smirking but it isn’t clear. Like I said, the facial features aren’t exactly clearly defined.

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 The British Monster Party is a subdivision of the British Monster Society. To meet your local representative check in your cupboard or under your bed. The British Monster Society accepts no responsibility for loss of life based on annoying or pestering these monsters. Complaints should be forgotten. Now. Or alternatively report to your parents room for immediate reeducation.

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 GOATEE TIME is not being so bad, apparently. According to the spy cams that we have installed all over your world people are coming up with solutions (so cool) to their facial hair problems. Mysterious Ezila has also wiped off the fake goatee and as the only reason that we weren’t speaking to her was that monstrosity we have all forgiven her and she is back to being official artist to the Robocalypse.

 We are all busy wishing that razors were permitted for the humans but we can’t have them hurting themselves in a fit of nihilism. We’re actually considering altering the legal stuff (I don’t get it) so I’d best go and help deal with that.

 Hail the Robocalypse!

 ZiziTheRobot