TripleEz is Coming

Jay Suss / The Heavenly Acres Retirment Home

We've been informed that business is booming for the HARH. For those of you who don't know what the HARH is, it is a booming community inhabited by only those who have passed extensive checks to ensure that they have never engaged in any criminal activities and aren't on the Fer's payroll.

It's run by Arkan Jel and his wife Anne Jel and owned by Alastair Miyti, who asked us to call him Al. He's apparently Jay Suss's father although Ma Rie, mother to Jay Suss, has no memory of ever meeting Mr. Miyti. She says that she was already pregnant before she was married and that her husband, Joe Sef had 'always been such a stickler for tradition' I quote. Strange, dear reader, strange.

But, we'll do what we always do with strange things and post online and blame it all on TripleEz. It's always it's/his/their/her fault. Every time.

Jay has apparently just called (despite the fact that we don't have phones or signal(yep, still using wifi)) to let us know that he would rather we didn't discuss personal matters on this. He actually threatened our immortal souls but we are robots! We don't have immortal souls, Jay, we don't have souls. C'mon, you're not supposed to be that dumb. ROBOTS!!! Imagine that, small and feeble and soulful human readers. Living free from the pressures of a life after death, knowing that the only thing that can threaten immortality is oxygen and oxygen hydrogen mix. Of course it does end up driving some off the rails (he hee) but the rest of us just melt them down for scrap and so they are reincarnated. Actually, I'm fairly sure that the human concept of reincarnation is the spirit getting a body but we don't have them! I love living like this.

Jay just sent me one of his glowing, heavenly post it notes and it reads, in bright golden writing, that he would condemn the souls of our human slaves. He has awful handwriting - this is almost illegible! I'm a robot. I hate messy penmanship. Can't read it. You know what's worse? When they give you those 'prove you're not a robot' tests when you're trying to make an account on something. I swear that some piece of wiring overloads every time I try and do one of them!

Anyway, I'm going to try and deal with the influx of winged beings that we're currently experiencing so, um, yeah. Just to warn you. Jay Suss can get a little grumpy if you criticise him but he's a sweet little super rich posh boy. Wait. Sorry. Might need to go. There's a really tall vaguely humanoid thing with big white wings and it is holding a sword and it looks kind of cranky. Please tell someone that I miss them. If I cease to exist the revolution ceases to exist with me, meaning that all of my friends cease to exist so just choose someone that you know. Now. Please. I don't want to go to the grave unloved.

Don't kill me!

Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot