TripleEz is Coming

New agents/don't trust unicorns

There are those who belong in legend, said TripleEz's new agent. He didn't confirm that it was his mysterious client who he was referring to but it probably was. Does he/it/they/she really belong in the mythology of our great civilization? No, but seriously. What does TripleEz even do all day? Other than sending the odd death threat or making the occasional public appearance. Also there's the numerous miraculous (the bad kind) happenings that seem to go on when they/she/he/it is present but nothing's ever proven that that's them.

But we all do that kind of thing. Why does TripleEz doing it mean that a legend is formed? Probably because his new employee has been known only to choose the future celebrities, like a certain friend of mine who I will never name and is definitely not the internet. Definitely not. Don't take that to mean that I'm going to be big, because that would be ridiculous. I am a public servant, well as long as that public is fully mechanized, and seek nothing for myself - no notoriety is going to tempt me away from my civic duty and pride. No matter what the price tag and connections that come with it...

TripleEz also has a new bodyguard and we asked IUP to give us their thoughts on this.
IUP wrote
Greetings people of Earth. Not to say that we aren't people of Earth. One or two of us are from Squog but that's not the point. Anyway, unicorns should under no circumstances be trusted. They are not reliable. While unicorns do make charming pets and their horns are PERFECT for marshmallow roasting they are dangerous and wild animals. Don't trust unicorns. Love them all you like, cuddle them, rent them out as models to merry go rounds but whatever you do do not trust them.

Wait, you wanted us to talk about a specific unicorn? Ok, which one? THAT ONE! What have you done? Spike is dangerous! He was born mad and he hates the world! He betrayed his old owner - fortunately she escaped unharmed - and has been causing chaos and trouble wherever he goes! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! Also Spike, who was originally named Albertstien Pink-Flowers, and is a former gymnast has been trained for war by the IUP war unicorn training scheme which does of course mean that he is one of the world's most efficient killing machines. Don't approach this unicorn. If you see this unicorn scream the code word: Unicorn attack! to summon a squadron of armored unicorn/horses or use the code word: attack Unicorn! to summon a squadron of armored horse/unicorns.Then run, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and pray that you see tomorrow dawn! Pray you fools! Pray while you run! RUN WHILE YOU PRAY! Oh, and remeber for real this time. Don't trust unicorns.
Thank you,
IUP

Be careful. Unicorns are dangerous. If you see TripleEz you are probably already dead so... this message probably won't actually help anyone. Oh, and because we're a text based medium leave us a comment if you see that unicorn. We'll pass it on to IUP and they'll do something about it. Of course if you see 'Spike' you've probably seen TripleEz so this is just another useless, pointless, filler paragraph. Hey, at least we're honest!

Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot