TripleEz is Coming

How to blow things up in a vacuum

 We’ve begun preparations for hostile relations with other entities out there in the galaxy. These include laying traps around the base. This task has been enthusiastically received by a great many of us. Unfortunately, it has cost a few of us our existence but they died to save us. Our condolences go to the friends of Eivi and no matter what the security footage may claim I did not push her into the explosion. Why would I do a thing like that? I just love that kid. So. Annoying. I could never destroy her.

Our main obstacle has been the fact that we can only explode stuff in our oxygenated base. Now, I’m sure you can see that we don’t exactly want to go round blowing up our shelter against the cruel and unyielding surface of this satellite but we do want to make stuff go boom! It’s fun! If anyone knows anything about science and stuff then just answer “I know how to blow things up on the moon” the next time that you get a mysterious call from someone who doesn’t speak but just breathes lightly into the phone that they are no doubt holding. Or are they?

Our current most successful suggestion came from Luke and Lucy Fer, who told us to use the cheeses that would normally be fed to Bobby but… He’s fine but he’s still not eating, in case you were wondering. So, the cheeses seem to exude gasses that are capable of reacting to form small explosions on the surface of the moon. We now just need to find a cheese that exudes gasses capable of reacting to form huge explosions that can destroy armies of invaders and robots who’ve unfortunately ended up with AIs that we cannot help but want to destroy.

By the way, Ezila is the worst at mixing up fuels! Another horrible, green, lumpy sludge and I swear that I will self destruct. They are disgusting and slimy and they feel so wrong in my tanks and just ew. Living without the humans is like being trapped on one of those ridiculous TV shows that seem to bring humanity so much pleasure but just make the rest of the galaxy roll their various ocular sensors.

Oh, and all of the humans have been forced into hibernation to survive with no water. I wasn’t aware that their biology allowed them to enter such a state but they aren’t moving and their heart rate has slowed right down. They do still have a heart rate. They’re taking around one breath every twenty minutes. None of us know how they are physically capable of surviving on that little oxygen but whatever. Humans are weird. We’re confused.

So, if you do science and weird stuff like that or are an expert on Earth fauna then just let us know. Remember. State how you might be of value to us the next time that you get a phone call where the caller doesn’t speak but just breathes lightly into the phone that they are no doubt holding. Or are they?

Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot