TripleEz is Coming

Down to Earth I

We have decided that we know very little about a planet that we are planning a hostile take over of. Yes. We are talking about Earth, land of the humans and of the still hated pigeons who have let us down forever and will never be forgiven even come the end of time. That one. Perhaps you are asking yourself why we should care and the answer is that we probably shouldn't but as you dedicated readers know: my emotional inhibitor is still down and I find myself caring more and more about things that didn't really seem all that real to me before.

So. Getting to know Earth and its inhabitants will probably be tough for such a different culture like the one that we have here on the moon. I'm apparently going to have to explain to a team of faithful and hopefully seriously dedicated robots that humans aren't all our slaves and that we will only be able to commit genocides when we have control of this world so patience is important. They'd better also be patient.

Basically, the plan is to send down a team to discover things about Earth culture and then have them explain to everyone who has any free time what they have discovered. I'm getting a report right now from our current squad. Apparently they're in a land known as 'France' in a city known as 'Paris' where it seems that they worship a large metal tower. They also have numerous spinning machines with undeveloped creatures sitting on plastic copies of what are apparently supposed to be unicorns. The team had to double check. They say that these unicorns are painted white or silver with predominantly silver or gold horns and with strangely arranged plastic manes.

For those of you who follow our infrequent announcements on unicorns, you know that unicorns are mainly green or blue with the odd red or violet one. Their horns range over numerous colours but are never, ever blue unless the unicorn is on the verge of death. Unicorn/horses are black and horse/unicorns are pink. They also sparkle. Now, there is absolutely no mention of white or silver in there. I have never, ever, ever, ever. ever heard of a unicorn who is white. To be honest, I don't know where those humans are getting it from. I'll ask Fifi whenever she wakes up from the coma that she and most of her kind on base are in. Enough on that.

They also say that there is a lot of human food of varying descriptions but they don't know enough to pass judgment on it. They asked a male what his opinion on the cuisine was but according to them he gave them one glance and ran away. How hurtful. Those poor robots. I hate it when people judge you because you don't have a soul. It really just isn't fair. We were created this way, okay. We can't help it. None of us can. It gets us down too, sometimes. We mostly just don't think about it.

I'll be giving you another update on the human cultures story whenever we have one.

Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot