Chapter 59

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I actually got teary eyes writing this because I was listening to The Fray :'( I attached the song on this chapter listen to it with me and we can all cry together </3

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It was nothing but my cries echoed the place even the trees stayed still as if to watch the tragic lost. I felt empty as a ghost holding onto something I have to let go. Once again I have to let go of someone I love, once again we lose someone. 

"No..No..No.." I spoke brokenly shaking my head. 

"Listen to me." He tense his whole body shaking and I see the struggle he have to keep himself from turning. 

"I still see her...the little girl with the big red bow in her hair that shared her juice box with me every lunch time. The girl that made me fall so deeply in love that it was okay if I didn't get the love that I wanted back from you. It's okay..because just looking at you, just being with you was enough...it was enough Jessy. You gave me a life I thought I could never have and you will give them all lives they thought they could never have." He lift my hand and place it right above his chest where his heart lay. His eyes shinning with unshed tears. "It's okay," He gave me a warm smile like he knows everything is going to be okay but nothing will be the same without him, doesn't he understand that?

He's the person the glues me back whenever I'm ready to give up. He's always been that person. 

I knew exactly what he meant by placing my hand there and it scares the crap out of me. It physically pains me realizing what he's asking for. 

"No..." I shook my head but at the same time I knew he would never want to be turned into one of those things. 

I knew what I had to do but I'm still holding on to the fact that it's my best friend. This is Oscar we're talking about. He's been in my life since the moment I learnt how to spell my name. How can I lose someone like him?

I would give it up, I would give everything up to just have that few minutes back and it would be alright again but I look down and I know it's too late to go back and I see the darkness seeping in his hazel eyes. 

I remember him begging me to runaway with him. I remember loving him so much and feeling that love back multiple times. I remember those Saturday nights we would be by the lake roasting marshmallows. I remember our first ever kiss, I remember looking into his eyes and never feeling nervous about it because we knew we would love each other even if our kiss sucked. I remember breaking up with him because I thought he was way too good for me and I was right but he didn't understand and we stopped talking for a month. I wanted him to be happy and find someone deserving but he loved me better, he loved me deeper even after that. He was the one that taught me what true love really is. 

Every part of me aches with pain unable to move dreading to make a move. 

"I can't..." I shook my head tears rolling down my eyes. 

I couldn't take away the one important thing that makes him everything that he is. Kind, loving, sweet, loyal and caring. 

I see the pain, the agonizing pain consuming his whole body as his face flash with pain. I understood that feeling and I would rather die myself then become one of them. I began to pant heavily knowing that time is fading quickly, time with him that I've been clinging to is ending. 

"You can, I want you to please." He whispered his body tensing. 

I lean my forehead against his head placing my trembling lips on his forehead sobbing loudly. I wanted to say so many things, so many words to let him know how much he means to me, how easy he made things for me. I want to hug him tight until the pain leaves, I want to give him everything he deserves but he's slipping. Slipping away from me and I can feel the dreading pain overwhelming my whole body. 

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