Chapter 33

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The song Gasoline is the perfect song for this chapter, go have a listen while reading this :)

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"There's a native land that I found some where in new mexico we should check it out and...

Annabel's voice faded my mind taking me some where I see her infront of me looking at maps but I can't hear her voice anymore. A chill erupt my whole skin the same feeling I got when I saw them. My eyes snap to my dad sitting on the table where Annabel is reading. 

He held a book in his hand and it sent a chill running down my spain. Him doing that makes him more real and he can't be I can't think that he's real. 

"Don't pretend I'm not here sweetie." He toss the book to the side making me jump at how loud it was. 

"You okay?" Annabel frown staring up at me. 

"Yeah keep going." I pace around the room feeling an unpleasent feeling creeping up on me. 

I kept my eyes away from him hoping if I don't acknowldge that he is here he would leave me alone. 

"I was saying that it's worth the trip there don't you think?" 

"Yeah yeah sure we should go." I mumbled feeling on the edge. 

"Road trip! This should be fun!" Dad jumped up coming towards me making me tense in the spot. "Remember our little road trip Jessy." He grinned widely but it's not the same smile I remember. 

It doesn't give me a warm secure feeling like it use to, it gives me an uncomfortable knot twisting in my stomach. A sick feeling that won't go away.

"Remember when the three of us would drive off any where in it would be perfect." He sighed grinning over at me. "We were such a perfect family don't you think? That was all I wanted I hope you know that. When I found out that you were a vampire I sat down and I cried." 

I had to look up at him to make sure it's the same person talking to me. His eyes filled with saddness as he neared me. I know that he's not real but I can't help but hope that even though he torments me and bring the pain back in me a part of me wish that he is here for real. That he's not dead. He can hate me as much as he want and I will always carry this pain but I wish that I won't feel this guilt in me. 

"I wanted us to be that perfect family." The heaviness in my chest hurts even more. "You let him win, you should've killed yourself Jessy before it all got out of hand than non of this will be happening. You should've died and I would've loved you again but you are selfish. You're a coward! You would rather have us to die than yourself." 

I squeezed my eyes shut facing away from him trying to block him out but how can I block someone that's in my head. I can feel myself losing control and it's slipping away my sanity is slowly slipping. 

"No," I whispered quietly. 

"Kill yourself Jessy and it will be all over." He spoke more clamly. "It would be easy the pain would be gone you won't have to be alone anymore." 

I ran my hand over my hair trying to keep my breathing in control feeling so close in exploding. Having your father taunt you from the dead can make anyone crazy. It can break anyone a part and I don't think I can hold on anymore. 

"But you won't" He state walking around me. "You're a coward." 

I feel like I'm breathing under water and no matter how hard I try climb I began to drown some more. The pain in my chest only worsen until I give in to the pain and let it drown me. 

"Jessy?" I can hear Annabel's faint voice in the background. 

The beating of my heart is like thunderstorm in my ears deafening me. I cried out stumbling back landing on the ground on my knees. 

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