Puns.1

☨Day #56: R e l i g i o n puns

Day #56: R e l i g i o n puns [please don’t be offended]

☾Need an ark to save two of every animal?

        ★I noah guy.

☾Don't join dangerous cults:

        ★Practice safe sects!

☾Even though Catholics in space are weightless,

        ★do they have mass?

☾Though humble in secular matters,

         ★the minister had an altar ego.

☾Never hire a depressed exorcist –

        ★they're not very good at lifting spirits.  

☾Did you hear about the nervous preacher?

         ★He had sweaty psalms.

☾Although I did not know the name of the boy who bumped his chin while playing a song in the children's handbell choir,

        ★his face rang a bell.

☾If a Monk throws a hissy fit,

        ★is it a temple tantrum?

☾I met some cult members who worshiped soup serving utensils.

        ★I said, 'Oh ye of ladle faith.'

☾The dervish had so much endurance,

        ★he set a new whirled record.

☾When the church posted the new,

        ★sped up service schedule on the plaza it was mass times acceleration squared.

☾The priest was very stern during the service last Sunday.

         ★After church I was distressed.

☾Amenities –

        ★the Greek goddess of luxury.

☾I used to be able to clap with just one hand. But that was Zen,

        ★this is Tao.

☾What did the minister say to the underdressed layman?

         ★"No shoes, no shirt, no service"

☾Did you hear about that Buddhist leader who retired and tended his crops?

        ★He's now known as the Dalai Farmer.

☾When Jesus entered Jerusalem,

        ★people waved palm branches because they were being frondly.

☾Why did the man go to a lot of church cook-outs?