Puns.1

☡Day #59: M o r e F a m i l y puns

☡Day #59: M o r e F a m i l y puns [don't you just love your family]

☺Conjoined twins aren't the only twins with special connections.

☺I knew my wife was pregnant when she looked at me with fertilize.

☺An opinionated but cheap person never truly gives their two cents.

☺Some doting parents are son worshipers.

☺The wise old man is long in the truth.

☺It's a clumsy reflection of yourself when you break a mirror.

☺An heir is someone with a descent wage.

☺Epitaphs are engraved!

☺To the flat dwellers finding a level playing field was a complex issue!

☺Is the training given to expectant parents apparenticeship?

☺My brother wishes he could compose smutty verse as good as mine.

        ✌Is this scribbling ribaldry?

☺The ghost never took sides during arguments.

         ✌He was super neutral.

☺When I was starving to death,

        ✌my children gave me a raisin to keep on living.

☺Even though he contributes either the X or Y chromosome,

        ✌when a father chooses the sex of his child it's just a sperm of the moment decision.

☺The mother kangaroo tried to instill good financial habits in her baby.

         ✌She told him to pocket all his allowance.

☺When the diva's vacuum cleaner broke,

        ✌she refused to use a broom because it just wouldn't be Hoover.

☺Because they moved into an apartment,

        ✌they didn't need to cut the grass any mow.

☺Did you hear about the builder, who was retiring, and said to his Son, 'This is all yours now, son.'

        ✌His son said, sadly, 'I dunno, dad. You're a hard hat to follow!'

☺My father slept under the bed,

         ✌I think he was a little potty.

☺My wife's dad spends a lot of time in the bathroom.

        ✌He is my Father in Loo.

☺The fellow died before he was able to write his estranged daughter out of the will.

        ✌Death before disown her.

☺Did you hear about the father that was difficult to see?

        ✌He was transparent.

☺After getting pranked by his friends and getting hit with a basket,

        ✌Aron knew they had a wickerd sense of humour.

☺In my will I've requested that envelopes be sent out full of chick-pea paste.

        ✌It'll be done posthumously.

☺I got my child to sleep last night by just repeatedly saying 'bursary'.

         ✌It was the only nursery rhyme I could think of.

[GUYS I HAVE GOTTEN BETTER AT PHOTOSHOPPING. I REPEAT, I HAVE GOTTEN BETTER AT PHOTOSHOPPING AND IT'S THE GREATEST FEELINGS EVER.]