Puns.1

✘Day #48: P o l i t i c i a n puns

✘Day #48: P o l i t i c i a n puns--

♔Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

♔Russia was slow to recover after WW2 because it kept Stalin around.

♔Politics only serve to make the future moron-certain.

♔Those who do not want to be counted have taken leave of their census.

♔Some Spanish government employees are Seville servants.

♔When Caesar entered the Senate all hail broke loose.

♔People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers.

♔A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

♔The nomadic tribe had to settle for their current leader until they could find a Bedouin.

♔The politician is not one for Indian food. But he's good at currying favors.

♔The president can't pass the bill because it's still incongruous.

♔I know an eager-beaver District Attorney who ferreted out how someone badgered a politician into weaseling out of a contract on a rabbit farm.

♔A portrayal of dictators on film required a tsar-studded cast.

♔I believe I will be able to run my car on politicians promises but I'm having trouble with the fool injection system.

♔Old Senators don't die, they just go over the Hill.

♔The saying of a former vice-president is know as an AlGorIthm.

♔A homeless person joining in a riot can basically be heard as a vague rant.

♔Politicians get onto the merry-go-round and then put a spin on it.

♔Politicians double cross bridges when they come to them.

♔A jockey wanted to be the city mare but things kept stallion until he got nagged.

♔The White House has many Power drills.

♔The two people on the liquor license board called all the double shots.

♔It's hard for politicians treason with terrorists.

♔The newspaper doesn't put in Politics what is Classified.

♔Are Philosophy papers graded with Marx out of ten?

♔The leader of the sauce council is the mayor naise.

♔Ancient Roman senators liked to make big statutes.

♔Then there was the dictator who wanted to conquer the world, but was delayed while counting the feet of his soldiers.

        ♗His was a toe-tally tarrying regime.

♔The ancient Romans only gathered once a week,

        ♗because that was enough forum.

♔Earl Grey was away on business during the election.

        ♗So he cast an absent-tea ballot.

♔The dictator was really upset about the neckwear he had received as a gift.

        ♗What a tie rant.

♔When I learned what the gun lobby was doing,

        ♗I went ballistic!

 ♔Hancock didn't retire,

        ♗he just resigned.

♔With Iowa crows swearing all over the places,

        ♗the result was statewide caw cusses.

♔Ever since the mayor's ban on flammable liquids,

        ♗fewer arsonists have benzene around town.

♔Paula thinks she knows alot about government, but she doesn't.

        ♗Politics me off.

♔The ancient Japanese leader lost his legs in a logging accident,

        ♗and became a sawed-off Shogun.

♔I dated a politician over the holidays but when I wrapped myself up as a present,

        ♗he couldn't cut through the red tape.

♔Old politicians never die,        

        ♗they just get devoted.

♔When the presidential candidates campaign in rural areas, do they take a straw poll?

        ♗When they campaign in forested areas do they give stump speeches?

♔If a VIP is asked to take a back seat at the special event,

        ♗he may take affront.

♔November: We start the month out stuffing ballots to elect some turkey,

        ♗we end the month stuffing a turkey to increase our ballast.

♔The state legislature could not decide whether to fund the water control project or the all weather stadium. It was a no win situation.

        ♗Dammed if you do, domed if you don't.

♔Why are the White House Staffers a sad lot?

        ♗Because after being Bushed for eight years, they can now look forward to being either Baracked or Cained.

♔Jack sold a cow for some beans, came home to his mother,

        ♗and spilled the beans.

♔There was a massive outcry against the plan to build a power line across a nature preserve.

        ♗The public couldn't bear the tension.

♔Why do all Marxists drink imitation tea?

        ♗Because all proper tea is theft.

♔Communism is a complicated thing.

        ♗You must think about from all sorts of Engels.

♔Worried about smog?         

        ♗Politicians aren't breathing easy yet.

♔I heard about this new governing document that says people can only go to the bathroom one per day.

        ♗It's called the Constipation. 

[as much fun as Disney is, it's pretty damn tiring]