Puns.1

‖Day #54: F a m i l y puns

‖Day #54: F a m i l y puns c: 

☻Most teenagers find a lecturing parent hear-resistable.

☻Are twin brothers called sunsets?

☻My neighbor's sprinkler is a constant irrigation to me.

☻She said she wasn't pregnant but contractions speak louder then words.

☻After Junior swallowed the watch he had to wait to pass the time.

☻People are choosing cremation over traditional burial.

        ☯It shows that they are thinking out of the box.

☻I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil.

        ☯All our presents came from Amazon this year.

☻The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner -

         ☯there were strings attached.

☻I tried wrapping Christmas presents,

         ☯but I didn't have the gift.

☻This year I made my Christmas wreath out of Franklin Fir branches.

        ☯I really like a wreath of Franklin.

☻As a young boy,

        ☯Brutus' mother often cautioned him not to run with Caesars.

☻I heard Einstein got along well with his parents ...

        ☯relatively speaking.

☻Last night, I kept dreaming that I had written Lord of the Rings.

        ☯The wife said I'd been tolkien in my sleep.

☻That's a cool chair.

        ☯Yeah, I know, it rocks.

☻Did you hear about the frog who traced his family history to Warsaw?

        ☯He was a tad Polish.

☻What did the mama tire and the papa tire name their baby girl tire?

        ☯Michelle Lynn.

☻Life ain't fair for a baby.

        ☯They always get the bum wrap!

☻After a day of changing her triplet's diapers,

         ☯the new mother was feeling rather pooped.

☻I really regretted the inconsiderate comment I made.

         ☯It was rued.

☻I suspected our new house guest was a terrorist.

        ☯He asked to sleep on a blow up mattress.

☻Everyone in the family knew that they had to join the spy agency.

        ☯It was a clan destine operation.

☻It was a sad day for the rattlesnake family,

        ☯the time had come for the children to strike out on their own.

☻What is the name of the immortal adolescent?

        ☯Constantine!