Puns.1

☯Day #40: P e o p l e puns

☯Day #40: P e o p l e puns-- [part 1]

✵It was a sad day for the rattlesnake family,

        ✠the time had come for the children to strike out on their own.

✵What is the name of the immortal adolescent?

        ✠Constantine!

✵My brother wishes he could compose smutty verse as good as mine.

        ✠Is this scribbling ribaldry?

✵The ghost never took sides during arguments.

        ✠He was super neutral.

✵Even though he contributes either the X or Y chromosome,

        ✠when a father chooses the sex of his child it's just a sperm of the moment decision.

✵When the diva's vacuum cleaner broke,

        ✠she refused to use a broom because it just wouldn't be Hoover.

✵The mother kangaroo tried to instill good financial habits in her baby.

        ✠She told him to pocket all his allowance.

✵Because they moved into an apartment,

        ✠ they didn't need to cut the grass any mow.

✵Did you hear about the builder, who was retiring, and said to his Son, 'This is all yours now, son.'

        ✠His son said, sadly, 'I dunno, dad. You're a hard hat to follow!'

✵My wife's dad spends a lot of time in the bathroom.

        ✠He is my Father in Loo.

✵The fellow died before he was able to write his estranged daughter out of the will.

        ✠Death before disown her.

✵Did you hear about the father that was difficult to see?

        ✠He was transparent.

✵After getting pranked by his friends and getting hit with a basket,

        ✠Aron knew they had a wickerd sense of humour.

✵My father slept under the bed,

        ✠I think he was a little potty.

✵Conjoined twins aren't the only twins with special connections.

✵Most teenagers find a lecturing parent hear-resistable.

✵I knew my wife was pregnant when she looked at me with fertilize.

✵An opinionated but cheap person never truly gives their two cents.

✵The wise old man is long in the truth.

✵It's a clumsy reflection of yourself when you break a mirror.       

✵An heir is someone with a descent wage.      

✵To the flat dwellers finding a level playing field was a complex issue!