Puns.1

◙Day #30: T r a i n puns

◙Day #30 T r a i n puns--

◘ What is the difference between a school teacher and a steam locomotive?

        ⊙ The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says "Choo Choo Choo!"

◘ What wobbles when it flies?

        ⊙ A jellicopter!

◘ What do you call a train that eats toffee?

        ⊙ A chew, chew train.

◘ Why is the railroad angry?

        ⊙ Because people are always crossing it!

◘ Why can't the engineer be electrocuted?

        ⊙ Because he's not a conductor!

◘ Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?

        ⊙ Because it has a tender behind

◘ How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?

        ⊙ Only one, but to no avail. He first punches a hole in the new bulb. 

◘The railway had a safety problem,

        ⊙but tried to cover its tracks.

◘How do you find a missing train?

        ⊙Follow the tracks.

◘What do you call the ticket inspector on a maglev train?

        ⊙A superconductor.

◘A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.

◘If you drive a train, you can't afford to lose track.

◘I'll need to choo on this request for a while before I can engineer a response.

◘Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.

◘A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.

◘Those who steal trains must have a loco-motive.

◘First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.

◘On the old trains the engineer had a lot of esteem.

◘When Einstein rode home on a locomotive it was a good train of thought.

◘If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.

◘The conductor lost his train of thought when the caboose derailed.

◘The railway constructions are on track.

◘Every so often railroad conductors have to go for retraining.

◘The special section reserved in the train for Julius was a Cesarean Berth.

◘Those building railways have to do a lot of tracking or their project will de-rail.