Puns.1

☽Day #21: M o r e R a n d o m puns☾

☽Day #21: M o r e R a n d o m puns☾ --pretty sure most of these are repeated, oops

⌛If there was someone selling drugs in this place,

        ⌚ weed know.

⌛Two frogs were asked if they were lying

        ⌚They almost got away with it, but one croaked.

⌛The knight stood on the shoulder of the road, looking at his disabled car.

        ⌚He shook his head and said, 'Chevrolet is dead.'

⌛The Spanish author would not bring refreshments to his uncles,

        ⌚but he would serve aunties.

⌛Where do Cockney bakers live?

        ⌚The Yeast End.

⌛My son's spelling test consisted of synonyms of the word incorrect,

        ⌚He was able to write every wrong.

⌛Do you need to draw money? 

        ⌚I could offer you a pencil.

⌛I just left the worst food themed theme park ever.

        ⌚Goodbye, Gruel World!

⌛After manually rotating the heavy machinery,

        ⌚the worker grew very cranky.

⌛I felt super exhausted after giving blood. 

        ⌚It's such a draining procedure.

⌛Why was the broom having a bad day?

        ⌚He didn't get enough sweep.

⌛I shouldn't have plugged my iPhone into the PC at the kitchen

        ⌚ It's now in the sync.

⌛He's got a phonographic memory.

        ⌚He repeats the exact same old lines like a scratched record.

⌛The carpenter came round the other day, 

        ⌚he made the best entrance I have ever seen.

⌛Murder with knives is very messy.

        ⌚and I suggest not taking a stab at it.

⌛The forest had burned down,

        ⌚but now it's back by poplar demand.

⌛Broken puppets for sale.

        ⌚No strings attached.

⌛I bought a ton of staples and pushpins all for $3.99,

        ⌚plus tacks.

⌛I started dating the boy across the street.

        ⌚I know what people say, but honestly, lawn distance relationships aren't that hard.

⌛I had an account with a bank in the North Pole,

        ⌚but they froze all my assets.

⌛I don't like tops of stairs.

        ⌚They always bring me down

⌛What was the leader of Russia's favourite food?

        ⌚Czardines!

⌛Learning to dance is a two-step process.

⌛I had a hand in the puppet show.

⌛Chefs learn their trait in the Cook Islands

⌛It's a clumsy reflection of yourself when you break a mirror.

⌛The best thing to carry with you when you start feeling tired is a knapsack.

⌛In ancient Egypt, papyrus farmers taught people the importance of reeding.

⌛When the cigarette lighter salesman tried to win back his old flame he found that he had met his match

⌛The fraudulent caged chicken farmer gave himself free range with his egg labeling.

⌛The doors just broke, I could fix it, but it hinges on other things.

⌛Deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.

⌛When the drummer moved back in next door there were many repercussions.

⌛Even the smallest egg farms are multi-layer organisations.

⌛To the flat dwellers finding a level playing field was a complex issue!

⌛A fat pirate is a vast matey.

⌛Cartoons produced by the Japanese government are animes of the state.

⌛The junior librarian was reincarnated as a bookmark because he always knew his place.

⌛The hairless goat wished that it had mohair.

⌛An egg pulls a cart with a yolk.

⌛A yak is the star of an animal talk show.

⌛The misdirected astronaut wasn't exactly over the moon.

⌛Does working for UPS make you a professional boxer?

--two updates in less than an hour, oops-- 

update on my life: I have a neighbor, who I've been getting a ride from [his father drives] in the morning, but not anymore, AND NOW I'M MENTALLY DEBATING WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD GO AND ASK HIM FOR A WALK. 

I can't do it though :c 

I need like a special kind of motivation. help?