LACUNA ✰ BNHA

59: XIE HUA PIAO PIAO BEI FENG XIAO XIAO

In which [name] makes some new furry friends, almost catches a case, and meets a girl in need of desperate help.

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[NAME]'S BRAIN CELLS WERE DYING AT AN EXPONENTIAL RATE AS SHE STOOD in the middle of the dorm common area, disassociating in her current half-asleep state. Nearby, Iida yelled at Kaminari, who was forcing Todoroki to try and light his Froot Loops on fire.

"[Name], are you listening to me?" Aizawa scolded her, raising an eyebrow at the "no thoughts, head empty" look on her face.

"About that, kind sir, imma have to ask you to repeat that shit," [Name] laughed nervously. Aizawa rolled his eyes.

"I said, since we've collectively decided to train you with more heroes based on your recent performances, you and Tokoyami will patrol with two other pro heroes."

"Who are they? Please don't tell me one of them is Endeavor, his meaty thighs are as thicc as my body..." [Name] shuddered.

"I don't want to hear my daughter talk about Endeavor's meaty thighs. Now just- get ready." Aizawa groaned inwardly.

"Uhh..." [Name] looked down at herself, seeing only an unflawed piece of delectable snacc. "I am ready."

Aizawa stared blankly at the girl, who was proudly sporting her sleepwear, which consisted of Nike ThotShorts™ and an oversized black shirt that simply brandished the word "ASS" in bold lettering.

"... No, you're not. I'm not letting you dress like this in front of high-ranking heroes." The exhausted man said, massaging his forehead. "Go change into something more acceptable."

"Father, you deadass roll around in a hobo sleeping bag, but yessir 😹 ," [Name] snickered, dashing away at sonic speed before she got her ass beat.

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"And that's why you should never play experimental hip hop in front of dyed hair hoes," [Name] concluded her intellectual thoughts. She and Tokoyami had just gotten down at the station of the city in which they were to patrol.

"I agree, [Name]. Some of the e-girl community represent the dark storm of shadows within the depths of hell, but they are cute. I learned that after having what is known as 'Discord sex' in my dark, middle school ages," Tokoyami said intellectually.

"Wait- you- Discord sex?" [Name] shed her innocent, angelic tears. "The emo bird has gotten more than me!"

"I wouldn't say that." Tokoyami muttered quietly. "Often souls who long for the comfort of love— aka discord sex— fail to see that it has been surrounding them this entire time. 'Revelry in the Dark' or whatever, lmfao."

"Damn, that sounded deep, too bad that shit didn't osmosis into my brain doe," [Name] snorted.

Love surrounded her? No way. Well, unless she counted the times when Bakugo caringly suffocated her with his tits all the time, counted the way Deku hyped her up and gave her the best hugs, counted how Kaminari oh so lovingly fortnite danced on her when he beat her in their video game marathons, and counted how Kirishima lent her his hoodie and support, and so on.

"Too bad I can't count 😂. ," [Name] stared at her fingers and groaned. "My brain hurts."

"Illiteracy is a very unfortunate thing to experience. Anyways, I think the Pro Heroes are over there," Tokoyami said, shielding his eyes. [Name] followed his gaze to see blinding light ahead reflected on the two figures of heroes standing against the sun.