Playing With Fire (Liskook Fanfic)

Chapter 56: Selfishness that isn't bad

Lalisa Manoban

Back in those days when I still don't easily understand things, I always ask myself what people feels like when they do something for other people.

Like how people feels when they wanted to go back at their homes knowing they have someone waiting for them?

Do they feel some kind of happiness and giddiness like what I was feeling?

"Lisa! Do you want to go to the snack bar after class?" Eunwoo asked me after our professor dismissed us.

One more subject, Lisa. You'll get home soon.

"Omg! Yes! I've been craving for spicy rice cakes for awhile now." Jimin, who was listening, cut in.

"Didn't we just ate that two weeks ago?" Mingyu asked her.

Jimin turned her head to his direction, "Do you know that there's something wrong with your question?"

Mingyu gave him a confused stare.

Jimin rolled her eyes and brought up his two fingers, "Two weeks! Two weeks ago! That's something wrong!"

"How was that supposed to be wrong?"

"Oh my gosh. I cannot with you anymore."

I just chuckled and shook my head in disbelief at the both of them.

"So are you up to it?" Eunwoo asked me again.

"Uhm... I need to go home early." I warily said.

I don't know why I feel like I was about to lie.

Saying Jungkook's waiting for me was easy... or was it?

Ugh, I have lied!

"Lisa... I know this is hard for you. But you don't need to keep everything by yourself."

For a mean time, his words process in my head and then buffered.

"Huh?" I unconsciously uttered.

"You're not going to cry again, are you?"

Oh, right.

I smiled at Eunwoo and shook my head.

Funny how crying seemed like I've done it a long time ago.

Funny how every pain in my heart were slowly being cured.

Funny how for the past days I've been shattering, and in just a snap, I was recollecting my pieces again.

Funny how all was going to be well.

Was this because I've finally surrendered?

Was this because I've let myself come back to Jungkook?

Was this because I'm becoming selfish?

"Your selfishness isn't bad, Lisa."

Right. A good kind of selfishness.

I've started to believe that.

I should've believed that a long time ago. So that I didn't hurt Jungkook.

But because I was too caught up on making other people happy before making myself happy I hurt him the most...

yet he still loves me.

"I'm going to make it up for him!"

"What?" Eunwoo asked with a shocked look on his face.