Mindless Dreams and Nightmares

Chapter 11: Its a Healing Process and It May Hurt a Bit

Dedicated to Tamia <3 Who reminded me my imagination is just that .... mine

I had a bit of a tough time writing this chapter ... Not sure why, I guess I was worried I wasnt being realistic enough, but I remembered what Tamia reminded me of: I can be as creative as I want to be because well, it is my story ^__^ So I went ahead and posted it .__. comment, fan and enjoy?

-Jameelah's POV-

"Rinaa I-" I said for about the fourth time in a row, trying to explain myself as Rinaa ranted at me through the phone. I knew I should've broken the news to her gently. I just didnt know how, in the middle of what had started as a seemingly normal conversation I just blurted out the fact that I'm moving to america. I am making such a mess of everything. ''Rinaaaa!'' I semi yelled cutting her off mid sentance. ''We dont have ages for this call, but I'm sorry! I have to leave, there arent many reasons for me to stay in London are there?''

''Your mum, your house, college?'' She said dryly ''Me? Any of that ring a bell?''

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I forgot Rinaa didnt know, I'd been spilling my guts to everyone but Rinaa. I guess I just didnt know how. She cried for ages when I didnt come to school because I was sick with the flu, theres no way she'd be able to handle me telling her I couldnt stay here because I needed to put as much distance between me and my mother as possible. Instead I took a deep breath and said ''Remember Devante? My cousin I told you about?''

''Yeah the one who went to America to study law'' She said flatly

I chewed on my bottom lip nervously ''uh, yeah him. I just got off the erm phone with him'' I cleared my throat. ''He asked me if I wanted to come and live with him in America and I said-''

''Yes. Obviously, thats why your leaving. What I want to know is why you couldnt just come and say goodbye?'' She asked me coldly.

''I'm leaving tommorow.'' I said quietly. ''After I hung up with Devante I called you straight away.'' True. ''I dont really want to leave.'' Partly true. ''I'll come back and visit'' Okay that was a downright lie. I think Rinaa knew it too.

She sighed ''I'm gonna go get some sleep now. I hope your life goes well Jameelah, I really hope you do, and I hope you find better friends in America. Friends you keep for life and dont just abandon when you get the ch-''

I held the receiver away from my ear for a second before putting it back to my ear, ready to tell her something, anything to justify my reasons for moving so suddenly, my reasons for not telling her much about my life or my family. ''Rinaa dont say that, its not like we are never gonna see each other again its-'' I heard a sigh, a click, then a long beep. She hung up on me. I let the receiver slip in my fingers. I didnt drop it, but I wasnt far off from letting it clatter to the floor. I couldnt believe it. Rinaa hung up on me. Rinaa, who was supposed be my best friend. Rinaa, who found it rude to hang up first after a simple homework call. On the surface of it she had ended the call, but it felt like she ended everything. Ended our friendship, erased all the good memories we had before and worse still cut me out of her life.

Funny how one simple action can really get to me. I thought roughly wiping the tears forming in my eyes away. I sniffed hard, I've seriously cried enough for one day and I think I still have some more to do. I still havent talked to Prodigy, I dont know why I always delay talking to him. Its weird. Before I guess I was just nervous, but now, I guess Im afraid of getting hurt even more than I am now. I took a deep breath and looked at the phone now lying innocently on the bed. I shook my head at it. Bastard.

I stood up rubbing my left knee, I had been kneeling down beside the bed before putting most of my weight on my left side because I didnt want to aggrivate the bruises on the right but now my whole body felt sore. I wanted nothing more than to just sink onto the bed and fall into a deep sleep but I knew I had to talk to Prod first. I wouldnt be able to face waking up tomorrow knowing he was probably still upset with me so I got up and walked to the door. I was just wondering if he'd still be in the lounge with the boys or if he had already gone to bed when I opened the door and walked straight into him. Again. "Hey," I said narrowing my eyes "What are you-"