Assisting Miss Adams (GirlXGirl) OLD VERSION

Chp. 37

***MEGAN'S POV***

I lied awake in Shawn's bed, realizing I hadn't slept in here in what felt like ages. I knew I needed to get out of the kitchen as soon as possible, especially after I had kissed Sam, again. I didn't know what had come over me, or why I showed and said all the things I did to Sam, but I did, and there was no taking it back. She was confused, and sad, and it was all my fault.

I had tried explaining to her, I had tried making her see what I saw, and to be honest, I saw a lot of my sister in Sam.

The drinking, the partying, the smoking and all of the reckless decisions, the only difference between them was that Sam had absolutely no idea that there was something wrong with her.

In a way it was better, because she had gotten so good at blocking out the pain that she no longer realized it was there. My sister, well, she had obviously been overtaken by her own depression and felt like taking her own life was the only way out.

I felt the familiar pain in my heart as I thought about Lacey, and God I missed her so much. No amount of anything in this world would be able to replace her or completely mend the wound in my heart she had made.

I felt this strong need somewhere inside me to protect Sam from herself, because as time went on and things got more complicated I noticed a change in her behavior. When I met her she hadn't smoked, well weed, but now she had gone from not at all to smoking almost a pack a day. Her drinking habits hadn't changed, but she would now drive under influence. She was sleeping around, a lot, but the most drastic change had been her anger.

She was always so quick to get aggressive.

I knew there was something wrong with her but trying to make her see that was like talking to a brick wall.

Now thinking about the kiss I had shared with her, well, I obviously felt bad for it. I knew somewhere deep inside Sam there was something for me, no matter how much we both tried to deny it. I knew kissing her was wrong, but in the moment of trying to make her see her problem and holding her so close to me... it just kind of happened.

Kissing Sam was confusing and exhilarating at the same time, and in moments like that I would forget that I would see her in class next Monday at school.

Living with her obviously had done a number on our relationship, which was why I was so set on getting out of here. Sam and I needed space from each other even though neither of us wanted it. I could read Sam like a book, mostly because she always spoke her mind, but I knew she didn't want me to leave.

Which was also a little flattering.

I remembered when I had moved in initially, and how upset she had been at first. I knew me moving in wasn't the best thing for either one of us, but at the time it had been my only choice.

Now I was moving out and somewhere deep inside me wished I didn't have to.

I looked at the door, wondering what exactly Sam was up to right now. I wasn't tired, and I was actually pretty restless because of the earlier events. A part of me wanted to check on her, mostly because of everything I had laid on her in the past few hours, but another sensible part of me refused.

Thinking about Sam confused me. My heart would get this weird beat to it, my thoughts would run wild and I would actually get nervous.

Sam Carson actually made me nervous.

I could hear shuffling around the kitchen, which I took to be Sam because I also heard the door open and close.

Did she leave?