Teen Wolf boyxboy one shots

#62 Sterek

Hey guys, I'm back!  Sorry it's been a while, my life got a bit hectic and my writing was put on the back burner for a while.  Luckily inspiration has struck and I think I'm going to start writing a lot more again!  I thought I'd start with a good classic, Sterek!  Hope you all enjoy! ^_^
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{Stiles POV}

I don't know how to stop loving someone.  I've tried... I've tried really hard.... so hard that it's almost killed me.  Love is like a drug.  Sometimes it feels really good..... but sometimes it can also be really painful.
Painful.
Painful.
Painful like when the person that you have fallen so deeply in love with doesn't share the same feelings.  Painful like when the person you've fallen so deeply in love with rejects you on more than one occasion.  Painful like when the person that you are so deeply in love with is one of your closest friends.
I'm not saying that I don't want Derek to be my friend, I value that more than anything.... but it just gets hard sometimes.  Being around him all the time yet not really being with him.  Not being able to move on with anyone else because I keep holding out hope that maybe he will finally realize that he loves me too.  It's almost like-
"Stiles are there any boxes by you labeled bedroom?"  Derek quizzed from across the room, disrupting my sad thoughts.
"No, not that I see" I called back to him "didn't you already finish unpacking your bedroom stuff?"  Derek had recently decided to move out of his old family home and into a smaller apartment closer to town.  I'd volunteered to help him move in a heartbeat.
"I did, but I just realized that there are a few things missing" he explained ".... important things."He seemed a bit worried.
"I'll check the kitchen" I offered, pushing aside some boxes as I headed that way.  As I entered the kitchen there were still a couple of boxes scattered on the counters, one of which had the word bedroom written in green sharpie on the side.  I quickly picked it up and hurried back to the living room to find Derek sat on the couch, he looked exhausted.
"Hey, I found a box" I spoke up.  His head lifted to greet me and he patted the cushion beside him.  As I sat down I couldn't help the way that my heart skipped a beat at the closeness, the way my arm brushed against his.
"Let me see it" he insisted as I handed the box over.  He opened it up to see a couple photo albums.  He pulled an album out, running his fingers over it gently.
"This is all I have left of my family" he whispered in a sullen voice "losing this would be like losing everything."  I instinctively hugged his arm in an attempt to comfort him.
"I don't believe that" I murmured and he looked at me taken aback "what I mean is, even if you lose the album... you're family will always be with you in your heart.  My mom is always with me."
"Yeah, they will" he sighed" but having pictures is nice too."
"I know... I get that" I nodded.
"I care about you Stiles" he whispered.  I never knew how to feel about hearing those words from his mouth.  I knew he meant in a brotherly kind of way.  Of course I'm glad he cares about me... it's just sometimes it hurts because it's not the same way that I care about him.  I love him.  Sometimes I wish that I didn't have all these feelings... everything would be so much easier.... less painful.
"Stiles?" Derek's concerned voice snapped me out of my thoughts yet again.  I looked over to see him frowning, and it took me a minute to realize it's because I was crying.  When did I start crying?
"I'm sorry" I shot up off the couch, furiously rubbing at my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt "I promised my dad I'd be home for dinner."  I started hurrying towards the door knowing that my excuse was completely transparent.  I had just grabbed the knob and began to open the door when Derek's muscular had shot out in front of me and slammed it shut.
"Why are you crying?" He asked with care in his voice.
"It's nothing, I'm fine" I muttered half heartedly, all I wanted to do was go home and forget about this.
"You're not fine, Stiles...." his sigh was heavy with sorrow "please talk to me.... please."  I leaned my head against the door trying me best to take deep breaths, but it wasn't working.  The tears kept coming and they only got more and more intense.
"I love you" I choked out between sobs as I spun around and melted into him, his arms wound around me almost immediately.
"I'm in love with you, and I have been for a while not"I continued to sob "and I've tried to make it go away, I've tried so hard and nothing works.  I just keeps hurting."  I felt Derek's nose gently pressed to my hair as he softly inhaled.
"I'm sorry" I finally whimpered after what felt like minutes of Derek's silence, obviously he didn't know what to say.  What are you supposed to say when someone you only see as a friend is falling apart because you don't love them back.
Derek let me out of the hug for a second and my heart dropped.  Does he not even want to hug me anymore?  His eyes met mine and his fingers gently brushed my chin.  He still didn't speak.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to feel this way" I murmured "if I could make it go away so that it was easier to be your friend then I would... but I can't."  Derek closed his eyes, almost as if he were mad at himself, and then opened them once more.  They looked full of clarity now.
"I've loved people before... I've lost people before" he spoke softly "Everyone that I have ever loved has been taken from me.  My mom, my dad, my siblings, my relatives, and past girlfriends.  No one lives through my love.  My love is like a death sentence."
"Derek" I questioned in confusion, but he held up a hand.
"From the day I met you, I knew you were going to be important to me.  I cared about you more than I've ever cared about anyone" he explained "but I can't allow myself to love you, I fight it everyday.... because if I lost you.... it would kill me.... but I never meant for you to love me, for you to hurt this way.  I honestly-"
"Kiss me?" I begged, cutting him off.
"Stiles, I can't" he insisted.
"You say you care about me, and I know you're scared of what would happen if you allowed yourself to love me!" I cried out "but what's the point of living if you don't allow yourself to love.  Kiss me."
"I can't" he spit in anxiety, turning his head away.
"I've fought so much evil in my time, even a nogitsune that took over my body and I still survived" I argued "I'm not going anywhere, nothing is taking me away from you.  Now please, kiss me!"  He finally snapped his head back towards me and grabbed my cheeks.  He pulled my face in and suddenly out lips were pressed together in a hungry kiss.
So many feelings were rushing through me.  This was something I'd always wanted and something that I never thought would happen.  His hands slid softly down my body until they were on my hips pulling me closer.  My arms slowly snaked around his neck and I let my body meld with his before finally our lips parted and our foreheads were pressed together, our breathing heavy.
"I love you" Derek breathed.
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Hey guys, that's for reading!  I hope you all enjoyed and I'm super excited to be back and writing for you guys.  There are plenty more one shots to come!  ^_^