lives change quickly || carl grimes

Chapter Fifty-Seven - New Beginnings.

Amanda's P.O.V.

Things were not looking good for us right now, especially Rick. Once Michonne knocked him out, he was dragged away into a secured room where he could calm down by Deanna's order. Rick had stolen the gun from the armory when Deanna specifically told us we were not allowed to have a weapon on us unless it was permitted. Rick broke one of her main rules, and to make matters worse, he pointed the gun at every single person in the town today. Deanna was having a meeting tonight so the town could decide what to do with Rick. At this point, it seems like he's going to get kicked out, and we couldn't have that happen.

Daryl was still out with Aaron, so he had no idea what was going on. Michonne, Glenn, Carol, and Abraham all went to see Rick and fill him in on what's going on. Knowing Rick, he was going to come up with some crazy, psycho plan to try to get himself out of this. But even though Rick wasn't acting like his old self right now, I would stand by him no matter what. He's our leader, and I've known him for my whole life. I may not have believed it before, but I know now that I would follow him anywhere.

Lou, Ron, and Sam went back to Jessie's house to help calm her down while Pete was being taken care of in the infirmary. I had no idea where Lynette and Enid were, which was probably why Carl and I were sitting on the steps to his porch alone. After what happened between Rick and Pete, I figured he could use some company, no matter how weird things were between us.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, finally getting the courage to speak to him.

He nodded his head and said, "I think so... part of me is just hoping he didn't screw this up for us."

"Let's hope not." I agreed with him.

He just looked over at me slowly. My heart began to beat out of my chest as he gave me a small smile. It reminded me of how Carl and I were before everything happened between us. And by everything, I mean everything. Before the world went to shit. Before our lives changed so quickly.

I patted his knee and gave him a small smile before going to stand up, but I stopped when he suddenly said, "I'm sorry."

It took me by surprise. I slowly pulled my hand back and looked at him shocked, "What did you say?"

"I'm sorry." He repeated, "I hurt you, and that's the last thing I ever wanted to do. I promised you that I would never hurt you, and that's what I did. I ruined everything between us. The truth is, you deserve way better than that. I don't blame you for hating me after what I did."

"I don't hate you." I automatically replied without thinking about it. Then, I added quietly, "I could never hate you. Even if I wanted to."

He just looked at me sadly and said, "If I were you, I would hate me. Or even just be mad at me."

I told him, "I was mad at you. I was so angry at you for what you did to me. When I saw you kissing Lynette, it felt like I was already dead. I couldn't believe my eyes, but as more time passed, I realized that you weren't the only one in the wrong. We've both done things that didn't make our relationship work. You were worried about me becoming darker, but I didn't listen to you. I became somebody you didn't even know. That's on me, not you."

Carl thought about it for a minute before saying, "Maybe. But that doesn't change the fact about what I did was wrong."

"Are you with her now?" I asked him.

He seemed like he didn't want to answer the question. When he realized he couldn't dodge it, he answered truthfully, "I don't know. Maybe."

I just nodded my head and said quietly, "Maybe you should be."