What Are We Doing

Alyssa

It's been a month since the incident and since then I have been locked in my bedroom talking to no-one. Today is the day I can't be in my room anymore, today I have to get out.  Today is when I go home. I'm so excited, I'm getting to see my mom, my nieces, sister and brother in law.  I can't wait. My nieces are my life.

"Yo alyssa you ready?" I hear seth shouts. I'm in my room right now checking to see if I'm leaving anything and walk out when i see i haven't. The boys already took our suitcases down to the car. Ashley, Sarah, Jack, seth and I are going to barbados. Ashley is coming because I don't know what I'll do without her. Plus she's always wanted to meet my mom.

We're in the car heading to the airport. Everyone makes conversation while i'm sitting in the back up against the door making sure that Sarah doesn't touch me. Jack and seth are up front jacks driving, seth has shotgun, Sarah is in the middle in the back and Ashley and I on the end. I've been by myself since the incident. Thinking about it, dreaming about it, it has affected me badly, if I wasn't by myself, then people would try to hug me and show pity, and it makes me look rude for not hugging them back and walking off.

"We're here" jack says. We park the car and start walking to the airport entrance. We go through security and walk through the door to our plane. I go to my seat and sit, then I see jack sit right next to me. I move closer to the plane window

"Shouldn't you be sitting with your fiancé" I say turning my head to look out the window.

"My fiance looks like she's having the time of her life with little surfer boy there" he says and points to a flirting Sarah feeling the poor man hands up.

"Hm who would have guessed" I said sarcastically and turned back to look out the window. The plane starts driving off. I hate being in planes, there's nothing better than being in a piece of metal thousands of feet in the air.... note the sarcasm? My hand automatically goes to the chair handle and holds on tight while my eyes shut. After a little while we're in the air, I'm still trying to calm myself. All I can think about is how many more flights I have to go on to get home. I feel like I can't breathe. I start hyperventilating, jack notices and get a bag and gives it to me.

"Alright that's it breathe, in and out, alright, you'll be okay" jack says. He continues saying reassuring things in my ear until my breathing goes back to normal. I remove the bag and lean back on my chair breathing out a big breath.

"You alright now?" Jack asks worry on his face.

"Yes, i'm-i'm okay now" I tell him.

A few minutes later I'm back to normal. I just let myself relax a bit before opening my eyes again.

"If you hold onto that handle any tighter it'll break" jack says. I turn to look at him and I see he is now reading a magazine and drinking some water. I lick my lips as I see the water just realizing how dehydrated I am. I snatch the water from jacks hand and chug it all down. He looks at me shocked at what I just did, I just shrug, hand him back the cup and look back out the window.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Twenty hours later I'm finally landing in Barbados. I missed here, the sun, the blue waters, the warmth. I guess coming here in a hoodie was not a good idea, because I'm dripping buckets of sweat. I walk out of the airport to see my nieces, mother and sister standing watching and waiting for me. My oldest niece hasn't seen me yet. I walk up to her silently and telling everyone to be quiet, my younger nieces giggling silently.

"So does your favourite aunt don't get a hug, come on what kind of treatment is that" she turns around and screams. As she runs into me, my other nieces run to me and hug me. Oh this is the second time I've been away from them so long and it kills me every time I've said bye. After hugging them and still having my youngest niece hugging my leg I walk up to my sister and hug her.