Woven Desires [Completed]

Sweet Encounter

"Don't stay out too long."

"Oui maman, (Yes mum)."

She worriedly watched me walk out the door. After hearing the news, I decided to go out to get some air. Mum understood that I needed a little time alone, so she didn't ask where I was going or when I intended to come back. What made the situation more difficult to tolerate for me, was that during our move to the new house, I lost my necklace. The present dad gave me on the day of my 12th birthday, the last thing I received from him. With the house gone, my necklace was gone with it as well.

As I stepped out, I saw Sam standing next to the car, waiting for me. Clearly he already knew what mum was going to talk to me about, and guessed I would want to go for a drive. Knowing about my secret escapades to our old house, he sometimes caught me sneaking out, and drove me there. It's difficult to describe what Sam is like to me. All I can say is I'm really glad he is a part of my life.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked as he opened the door for me once I was close.

"I don't know," I answered looking at the car.

"Miss, are you OK?"

I turned to him, trying to figure out just how many times I had told him to stop calling me "Miss", but he never did. He worries too much. He takes care of me like I'm a fragile glass cup that could break at any given moment.

"I'm fine Sam."

"You don't look well."

I forced a smile on my face to reassure him.

"I'm going to walk," I said. "It's better for thinking."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Fine," he reluctantly replied. "Have a nice day Miss."

"You too Sam."

The journey to our old house on foot is about 15 minutes. That's where I was heading, but I was hardly aware of what I was doing, or where I was going. I was lost in thought. I knew the most important thing was that dad stayed in my heart. However, I couldn't help but think that maybe it was time for me to grow up and let go, move on. Still, I would have loved to see him one last time even for a few seconds. Just to tell him how much I love him, to beg him to sing me a song one more time. But I had to become stronger, and realize that I'll have to go through life without my daddy.

It's not like you're the only person in this world without a father, I tried to put things into perspective. There are so many other people without dads, and they live just fine.

Suddenly a beautiful but painful memory flashed through my mind.

"You look so cute," dad said to my nine year old self, as I showed off the tee-shirt he had just bought for me.

It was a simple white tee-shirt, on which the words "daddy's little girl" where written in italic pink letters. I still have it hung carefully in my wardrobe.

I can't do it, I cried innerly. I need him. How can I be daddy's little girl without... No, I can't do it. I can't-

The loud sound of a car horn brought me back to reality. I was in the middle of the road, standing in the way of a velvet blue convertible in full speed. I stood there petrified with fear, as I knew it was too late for the driver to stop.