Random Shit (I'M BACK BITCHES!)

Dear Friends,

Ok, so I know I haven't been updating like I promised, but I have a valid reason, so please put your pitchforks and torches away.

I want to address an issue now, so I don't decide to procrastinate and do it "later" but in reality never do it, so I better do it now while I feel brave.

I don't know but everything seems so pointless whenever I'm outside my own home or whenever my IRL friends and I have to split up for a class. It all started when this quarter's non-core class started, which for me and a few friend of mine is art. I LOVE art, don't get me wrong... it's just...the group sitting beside the one I'm in is full of some people that...are not my favorite. For now, I'll just call them G, J, U, and A.

These people...........

The thing is, the first day I was here, I was talking to the group of guys I was sitting in. One of them made a comment about one of the other guys being homosexual. I jokingly joined in with an "It's ok to be gay." , but G (i don't know what her problem is.) called me out with an "Are you being racist against my sexuality?". I was very confused and as she continued to call me out, threating to take me to guidance.

I think she was joking.....but I'm not really sure. She did so again today, bringing the first time up, this time with J and U joining in. (I think A would have but he was absent) I have social anxiety so I don't really know how to react in this situation. I (hope) they were joking but I can't help but feel useless and stupid whenever they do this. 

Also, I think I'm being copied. I chose Brendon Urie as the subject of the gridded project we are doing and the next thing I know, U is also doing Brendon Urie. Does she even know who he is? I don't know, maybe she admires him or is a fan of his music but I don't really want to assume anything and get called out so I'm just going to stay silent.

It does occur to me that I may have mild depression because of them because I may be pushing people away that I think are very important. If you also feel like I am doing this please tell me I don't want people to feel like they are as much of a twat as I feel. Just please know this... if you ever feel like you need to get something off your chest, you can talk to me. I don't actually mind it when people do this and it makes me feel important enough to hear about your problems and thoughts and I don't really mind. Ok? Ok.

Sorry for the rant guys, I just feel useless and pathetic whenever I leave my home because people are judging my every move and I just can't.

Please don't worry about me, I promise I'm fine. :)

Much (platonic) love from me.

Your Friend,

Maya