Love The Hurt Away

Breaking, Broken, Risen

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      Two days had passed and Dessiah remained locked away in her room. Detrick would check in on her from time to time and made sure that he spent each night holding her in his arms. Today Dessiah had taken a bath and made an attempt to wash her hair. She sat on the bed facing the window with the curtains slightly open allowing the sun to creep in and shine on her. Dessiah's hair dripped down her shirt waiting to be combed. She took the brush to it and saw flashes of Delaney between her legs brushing her dolls hair. "Mommy make me pretty okay?"

"You're already pretty Laney."

"Well that's cause I get it from my mama." Delaney's laugh echoed through her mind. It was too much to go on with simple tasks when they would bring back moments that she took for granted. Dessiah threw the brush at the door and screamed in anger. She wouldn't allow herself to cry because it seemed pointless. Dessiah slid her body off of the bed onto the floor with her knees into her chest, she buried her face. Soon there was a knock at the door.

*PLAY SONG ☝in the beginning as u read

"Dessiah? Honey can I come in?" Dessiah didn't respond but the door was opened anyway. Evelyn peeked her head in the door and saw Dessiah's state. She hadn't even looked up to invite Evelyn in and she totally understood. Evelyn saw what she assumed made that loud thump on the floor. She grabbed the brush and slowly walked over to Dessiah and sat on the bed behind her.

"You know I haven't had a chance to braid someone's hair in years. I sure do miss it. Do you mind if I help?" Dessiah didn't respond but instead just lifted her head. Evelyn moved to bathroom for some grease and a fine tooth comb. She returned positioned comfortably with Dessiah between her legs on the floor.

"So how are you feeling honey?" Dessiah didn't respond and Evelyn continued. "You know you and I are very much alike. We're similar in a lot of ways. Granted I don't know much about you but, somethings you can just feel." She parted her hair and applied grease to her scalp. "You know I was married before Detrick's father. It started out great in the beginning and then things took a turn for the worse. Stanley Childs was his name and he was my best friend growing up. We got married young but I was hopeful, like it was us against the world. Soon I learned the he felt like it was me and the world against him." Evelyn started to braid her hair back. "I don't know why it changed but I do remember when.

       The first time he slapped me down I was promised it would be his last. And it was for a while until I got pregnant. In between that time he found ways to break my spirit. That man was so cruel with the things he would say but I loved him anyway. He would find ways to knock me down by hurting my feelings but I just kept getting back up, I kept loving him no matter how hurtful he was towards me. He would push me away but I'd come back. He would cheat and I wouldn't leave. Stanley would lie and I stayed in his corner. I felt like I was lucky to have him even after all the bull he put me through. I tried to make the small moments of good, outweigh the bad, as many women do...then one day I was five months pregnant and he said someone told him I was sleeping around on him. It wasn't true. Deep down he knew it wasn't. I believe it didn't matter to him, he just needed a reason to justify what he did to me." Evelyn ran her fingers through Dessiah's as she stared ahead in a daze remembering Stanley. "He came home and beat me down. As far down as a person could go and yet he didn't beat me lower than I had already felt inside. Punch after punch. For some reason I wouldn't stay down I kept getting back up after every blow. He must have got tired of me getting back up because all I remember was him kicking me in my legs. I dropped to my knees and that's when he gave me a good blow in my stomach and I flew down the stairs." Dessiah turned around in shock to look at Evelyn but she continued to comb through her hair. " I woke up in a hospital with no family, no husband beside my bed, and no baby inside of me. It was a little boy that I lost that day and I made sure to name him Jacob. A good strong name I wanted to give him. I laid there in that bed and had never felt so alone and abandoned in my life. So lost and afraid of who I had become and if I could ever move forward. But with God's mercy and grace I did move forward. I left that place and never looked back. I came to Atlanta and created a new life for myself. I went to school, got a job, made some new friends and met my husband. It was great for a while especially when I had Detrick. It was like God was giving me a second chance to do things the right way with him involved in it. Then life happened again and my husband had an affair, multiple affairs, and I knew but I tried to hide it from myself, from Detrick, from my daughter, just from anyone. I wanted to keep the fairytale that I always wanted and had seemed to be living. God has a way of bringing things to the light even when you don't want them to be. Detrick caught his father with his secretary and I could no longer push it under the rug. I remember when Detrick told me. The look of disappointment in his eyes still makes me cry to this day. It was like he was trying to protect me the entire time I wanted to protect him. I learned a lesson that time to get up again when I was knocked down. It was like I had escaped one hell and then another one came. I had given my heart to only have it beaten out of me and then be cheated on and betrayed. So I forgave and found a way to move forward. It took time but God brought me to the best place in my life that I could be." Evelyn finished the two crown braids when she turned Dessiah's face to look up at hers. "I say all of that to say baby life has a way of knocking you down and taking all that you have to give but God can give you healing and strength to rise again. I know that you have been broken many times. My son has shared some of your story with me and I just wanted to understand. I know that you are scared and hurting your baby is out there somewhere but baby you have to stand up and fight! You have the right to fall apart! You have permission to breakdown, even to break stuff but get back up. Dessiah you have the strength of 100 of God's strongest soldiers. Get up and FIGHT! FIGHT FOR YOUR BABY!"

"I don't know where to look or what to do anymore. I'm so tired. I'm just trying to do the right thing and people keep hurting me." Dessiah whispered in a cracked voice.
"Everyone leaves me broken. They take all that I have to give and throw it away. I loved my husband. He was my family and he broke me for fun. My parents left me, my grandmother is dead, my husband threw me away and my daughter is gone. I just wanted to be a good mother. I wanted her to feel the love that I didn't have from Mom. Delaney keeps getting hurt when I'm supposed to protect her." Dessiah couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. "I don't know how to get my baby back. I'm so tired of moving steps forward and being knocked down. I'm tired of getting back up. I JUST WANT TO LIVE! I JUST WANT MY BABY!" Dessiah screamed and Evelyn held her tightly. She bent her body as if she were shielding Dessiah as she wept in her arms. "I just want my baby!! WHERE IS MY BABY?! DELANEYYYYY!!! DELANEYYYYYY! AHHHHHHH DELANEYYYYYY!"

"It's alright baby let it out! Come on let it out. I'm here with you. I got you sweetheart." Evelyn rocked her back and forth never letting her go. Dessiah needed to breakdown. Evelyn knew for a fact that sometimes you have to break down emotionally to get back up spiritually.

"WHY IS SHE GONE? WHY? WHAT HAVE I DONE? OH GODDDD PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK. PLEASEEEEE! JESUS!" Detrick raced upstairs hearing Dessiah scream. He barged in the room and the sight of his mother cradling Dessiah made his eyes water. As bad as he wanted to sweep her up in his arms he knew that at this moment she needed the love and comfort of a mother. He didn't mind her borrowing his in the process. Slowly he backtracked out of the door and closed it behind him.

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   Night had fallen and Detrick was tucked behind Dessiah in the bed. The curtains had been opened to allow the light of the moon to highlight the room. Detrick had made many calls to any and every one he could think of to offer some type of assistance in their search. He was still on a goose chase but that's all that he could do. How do you find someone without a trace?

Hours into the night and Dessiah awoke needing to use the restroom. Her eyes were swollen from all of the crying she had done that evening. She eased out of Detrick's embrace to the bathroom. Once she returned from washing her hands she turned off the bathroom light and headed back to bed when the vibration of Detricks phone went off. She ignored it at first but then it was frequent as if it were a call. She walked over to the inn table beside him when she picked up the phone to see three messages from an unsaved number. Who could be texting in the wee hours of the morning?

404-655-7439

I'm tired of playing games with you. I have something that you want and you have something I want! Meet me at this address 10749 ne 18th ave #15 in 30 minutes. No cops! You want to see this girl alive you won't be late!

Dessiah replied:

Show me that she is alive!" Dessiah gasped at the picture of only Delaneys crying eyes. Eyes that she stared into the day she gave birth to her. The eyes that lit up when they saw her. Those very eyes had fear and sadness in them. She quickly put on pants and grabbed the keys and quietly moved out of the door. Dessiah was going to get her baby back once and for all, even if it meant alone. She took Detricks phone leaving hers behind and was gone to find what was hers, Delaney.
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That cry Dessiah had me tearing up. Did yall cry? I know it wasnt long but I got you I promise. Please come to INSTAGRAM IM DOING A LIVE FEED LOURLOVESYOU IS MY PAGE .PLEASE VOTE. 95 VOTES CAUSE IT WAS SHORT. I HAVE NEWS ABOUT SPIN OFFS. DID YALL PLAY THE SONG. TELL ME ON THE LIVE FEED