On The Couch [Editing]

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Quick Note: HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE!!! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Okay the song I chose is odd, I don't think there is a real video for it except the damn clip from the episode. I love this version of Eternal Flame more than the original by The Bangles. It is a cover of it in the Vampire Diaries TV show hahaha sung by Candice Accola (Caroline Forbes) who actually is a musician herself besides a bad ass neurotic 'barbie' vampire! Ironically, 'Matt' in the Vampire Diaries or Zach Roerig is cast in my Under the Surface book as Nathan the other heartthrob my readers love. Alrighty then, enjoy lovies! =)

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Funny the one time I wanted to play the adolescent game of ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ there isn’t a flower in sight. I wondered how it would work with kelp…if I could even get access to some.

I scoffed to myself smiling as I leaned on the ships railing. The light breeze that continuously blew around me and my hair into my face from the slow speed of the ship is soothing. Though in nautical terms twenty two knots is pretty fast I suppose.

I found the quiet of the night and muffled noises of the ship on deck peaceful. There were hardly any people up and about. Only the stars and the light from the moon revealed just how far down the surface of the water is when it hits the ship’s hull the surface of the water splashing against it. I could easily be lulled into sleep from the sound.

I am distracting myself. I need to figure out what I should do. We are on this extremely romantic cruise and I felt saddened that I didn’t know the truth of his feelings behind his actions yet. I could only think how much I am in love with him and that I am afraid to tell him. I cared too much to be hurt again.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

I whirled around to see Evan standing there watching me.

“Yes…I couldn’t…”

“Sleep again,” he finished for me. “I figured when I woke and you were gone. I thought you might come out here,” he smiled sleepily at me. He had put on pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt; he looked so simple in the bed time ensemble.

He walked over to me and leaned on the railing with me. I smiled despite my fears and wayward thoughts, happy that he is here with me.

“I’m not really sure when it happened,” he began to speak thoughtfully. Confused by his choice in words, I just listen.

“I know exactly when I realized it myself, but when I actually did I can’t wrap my head around,” I turned to look at him as he stared out at sea completely at a loss.

“What are you talking about?” I ask and he just smiles lost in his thoughts.

He is amused by something and I don’t understand for once what he is getting at.

“It completely annoyed me at first…the feelings. It wasn’t supposed to have them, but they kept growing,” his eyes darted in my direction to see if I am paying attention.

“When it happened is what I want to know, it could have been the night of the party, when I first kissed you, or when we walked to that little sandwich shop on your lunch,” he chuckles. “I remember just wanting to see you that day,” his brow furrowed.

I began to understand what he is doing and trying to say and I could only hold my breath.

“I knew for sure when Kyle called me out after the dinner party a few days later.”

“Knew what?” I managed to say.

“That I am in love with you…that I have been the whole time in love with you,” he turned to look at me all the emotion poured out of him from every angle onto me. The intensity of it in his eyes is overwhelming. My mouth falls open at the same time my heart jumps for joy.