Write it Down so I Don't Forget

Comforting my friend

I didn't write because too much went on and I didn't want to stop and write. So my best friend, Rachel is omnisexual, more specifically pan sexual. Meaning she doesn't care what gender you are, she is attracted to people in general, she doesn't feel the need to limit herself just because someone is a certain sex. Anyway I've known this and on thanksgiving during dinner her sister that she had recently rekindled her relationship with said it out in the open. However not in the way to condemn her but she was happy, her parents however weren't. Her dad apparently threw some chairs and her mom said some really hurtful things. She called me a Natalie and we went over there ASAP. She was crying and told us everything she was feeling. It hurt me as her friend to hear her say those things about herself. I cried, she cried, we all cried. She goes through a lot of shit because of her shitty parents who are complete assholes. I'd never tell her that because no one wants to be told that, even if they know it. Her mom is a bitch 24/7 and so is her brother. She drove about 2 hours in the middle of the night apparently, but thank goodness she is alright. She's told me a lot over the years and I just want to keep her safe until she moves out because then she'll finally be able to be happy.i hate her family for her because I know no matter how much they suck she'll still love them, solely because they are her family. It makes me so mad that she is so willing to forgive them when they are so incredibly awful to her. I can't even repeat what she has gone through its awful, it's verbal abuse that I can barely stomach when she tells me what happens. Ughhh they piss me off so much! And they act like a big happy family when there are guests and it pisses me off more. They're such fakes! Eff her family.
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Saturday and Sunday were pretty uneventful, I made a cheese cake with my mom, it turned out bad, it was kinda gross and there wasn't a crust like there should be...
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Now it's Monday and I've finished what I needed to do and thought I should write some things down because man Kane has me hooked. I hate it.... So today as I was walking out of government I forgot his class was basically right next to the computer lab (where my class was today) and I saw him. Over the break I thought I was mildly over it but when I saw him my stomach did this flip. I only saw him for a second and he was walking toward the library for lunch (we were headed for the same place) and I couldn't stop smiling on my way there because I knew I'd get to see him. I was begging myself to act normal when we came into contact so I didn't seem weird. The worst part was that I was trying to make out paths cross.... Pathetic right.... Anyway we talked a lot during lunch, we talked while Erin and Claire talked it was fun. We talked about our thanksgiving and bits of our family. He thought "putting out" meant being really sexy, not having sex so her said that because for some odd reason we were talking about stripers and we girls were like what did you say!? We all laughed at him for it and some guys behind us did as well. I made sure to tease him for it. Anyway on our way to forensics we were discussing how we'd kill off the entire human race because why not?? After fifth he brought up my falling story and we started talking about how our calculus teacher asked if we got it on video and he said if he had he would put it in our school's news show. He edits the videos. We were trying to come up with a caption for it and the first caption he came up with was "falling in love" what the hell.... That's all he could think of... He was standing right there if I was falling for anyone it'd be him. He could have said don't study and walk or don't text and walk because I was on my phone.... Noooo he had to go and say falling in love! What the heck...... And earlier when we were talking about killing people he said he'd kill everyone except the woman he loved.... Um wait to be random and romantic as hell!! Ughhhh crushes suck! My stomach always flips and flops when I know I'll see him but when we're talking I feel completely normal and slightly happier. Ughh I'm being so sappy and cliché I wish he'd stop being so damn adorable so I could hate him, or less charming. What a jerk... Okay so I decided that I'm going to eat with Rachel and Natalie tomorrow to show him what he is missing and I also want to be there for my best friend right now. I kno this time is different than all the others. It hurts me knowing she has such a shitty home life while I'm worrying about Kane liking me back. That kind of thing should be her only worry right now. Not her parents being dicks. Signing off for now, later gator.