Write it Down so I Don't Forget

After I Came Clean

The next day wasn't as bad as I anticipated. We were both calm and cool about it, we talked like it didn't happen, the only thing was that I could barely look him in the eye, and that continues today, three weeks after. We all still hung out like normal and it's weird because I actually started eating lunch with the group more than I had planned. My other friends have the same lunch and I told them I'd switch off, but the two weeks following I ate with my other friends once.... My best friend says its fine but I feel bad, and sometimes she'll comment on how I'm a traitor but I have a really good time with the calculus group, not to say I don't have fun with my best friend it's just different. We still went to Starbucks every week and we still hang out on the weekends since having equally fun times as before the confession. A few days ago we went to Starbucks just to hang out, we had a calf test in two days but we studied the day before instead. Kane decided to drop kind of a big bomb by saying, "I'm kind of moving out of the 'being single is great' phase and loneliness is setting in." Wow.... Two weeks after I say I like you, you decide to be ready to date again! Are you kidding me! It took you two weeks to figure that out!? Is this your way of saying you like me or you don't I can't tell! Ughhh he's so frustrating. I never know where his head is. Sometimes I think he could, other times I'm thinking no way in hell. He's smart and quirky, quiet and sweet. I'm loud and passionate, shy yet very sassy.
Let's make a list of why I like him just to further my crush.....
1. He is super sweet.
2. We click naturally nothing is forced.
3. He is intelligent.
4. He is so funny and never fails to make me laugh.
5. He is such a dork.
6. We are opposites yet very similar, we think the same but have differing opinions.
7. When I'm sassy he shuts me down, I like someone who can't handle my sass and not be intimidated by it. He is just as sassy.
Now for the things I hate about him.
1. I hate that he can always make me laugh.
2. I hate how indifferent he is sometimes.
3. I hate how he isn't easy to read.
4. I hate when he doesn't do the little tick he does when he is excited. (It's so hard to describe but it's adorable trust me.)
5. I hate how he doesn't open up easily.
He is so freaking adorable it hurts. So about his little tick he does. When he is excited you can tell because he looks like a mouse eating, he brings his fingers near his nose and moves them in front of his face. Its so hard to describe but you'd see why I'd describe it as a mouse eating when he does it. Whenever we're in the same room I looked try to catch his attention. Shhhh don't rat me out.