Matt Brown: Collection of Short Alaskan Bush People Fan Fics

The Real Matt

When you woke up that morning, the silence in the room told you Matt was already gone. It was the third time in a week that he had slipped away without waking you up. After being together for six months, you knew him well enough to know that something was terribly wrong.

It was always easy to know what Matt wanted. He wasn't a real complicated guy. Love, food, intimacy and adventure were the things he wanted and the things you enjoyed giving him.

You lay in the empty bed for a long time, not wanting to confront what you felt. Denial wasn't the way you normally handled things. You were a girl who always tackled problems head on and as quickly as possible. That's just the way you were. But with Matt, your heart was still so tender with love for him that everything he said and did touched you more deeply than you would have ever imagined. So you lay still in the quiet room and found yourself not wanting to confront the trouble that was so obviously churning inside him.

Sighing out heavily, you forced yourself to sit up anyway. As the sigh slipped from your lips you realized you couldn't see the cold fog of your breath in front of your face. You smiled. Matt had built up the fire before he left so you would be warm when you woke up. He showed his love for you in so many ways and even when his spirit was troubled, he was thinking of you.

As you dressed slowly in the warm cabin, your eye fell on a small plate sitting on the cooler edge of the stove. There was a white paper towel covering it and even before you lifted the paper, you knew it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Matt had made you for breakfast. He always made one for you when he left the cabin before you did in the mornings. The smile never left your face as you munched on the soft bread and savored the taste of the salty-sweet flavors on your tongue.

On the deserted beach, Matt sat down on the fallen log and dropped his head into his hands. There was so much going on in his mind and in his life that he thought he might scream. Every day brought with it a fresh set of complications and it was getting harder and harder to deal with everything. But there was one thing that was in the front of his mind and he struggled with how to tell you. His boot scuffed against the roughness of the log and his shoulders slumped even further down.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" You spoke softly from close beside him.

Matt jumped at the sound like he had been shot. "Dang-it! How did you sneak up on me like that?"
He swung around to face you and even though he tried to smile, you saw his normally happy face was lined with worry.

"Sorry." You apologized as Matt reached out for you.

He held your face in his hands as his mouth settled gently on yours.

"I don't mean to shut ya out, but..." He pulled back and hesitated.

"But you are shutting me out." Your directness swam to the surface and your words were blunt and confrontational. "Let's talk."

The look on Matt's face told you he wanted to be anywhere else but right there, having to have that talk with you. You looked down at the mud on his boots and his unwashed jeans. He hadn't even put on clean clothes that day, but had grabbed his old pants from the day before. Whatever was bothering him was consuming his thoughts and you had to get to the bottom of it quickly before it dragged him under.

"Just start talking and we'll go from there." You prompted and pulled him to sit beside you on the log.
"It has nothing to do with you. You know that, right?

"It has everything to do with me, Matt. From the moment we got together, everything that affects you affects me."
"It's complicated." Matt pushed his sunglasses up onto the top of his head where they settled in the nest of his curls. His eyes were tired and sad and your heart fragmented inside your chest like a piece of broken porcelain.