Matt Brown: Collection of Short Alaskan Bush People Fan Fics

Let Me In

When Matt Brown first spoke to you, you hoped he was really talking to someone else. You had been watching him in the restaurant for at least an hour as he talked and laughed with his brothers and sisters. But in that time, he never once looked at you. Or so you thought.

So when he stood up and walked directly over to your table, smiling at you as he walked, you were so embarrassed you could only drop your head and look away from him. Your mouth went dry and the thumping in your chest was so loud you were sure he could hear it beating from where he stood. You weren't used to men coming on to you. It was always so clear to them how much of an introvert you were and when you wouldn't make eye contact with them they always walked away. Until now.

"Hi, I'm Matt." He spoke so loudly you were sure everyone in the restaurant could hear your conversation. You snuck a peek up at him and thought you were going to pass out. He was even more gorgeous up close. But as usual, you had a thousand thoughts in your head but nothing would come out of your mouth. So you sat there like you normally did and said nothing, hating your shyness all the while.

"Hi!" He spoke a little louder and bent his head down closer to you.

Realizing he wasn't going away, you slowly lifted your head and looked directly at him. When his eyes met yours, his smile grew so large so fast that it scared you a bit.

"Hi." You finally got the word out and gave him a small smile.

"I'm so sorry." He grinned and held both his hands up, palms out. "But you are even more beautiful up close!" And he laughed a wild-sounding laugh that made you laugh back with him. When he dropped into the seat across from you and started talking, it wasn't long before you realized you didn't have to work at all to carry the conversation. He did all of the work for you. Which was a great thing because while you truly did have a thousand thoughts stuck in your head, you were desperately afraid to let most of them out. There was always the chance that the comeback line that seemed so witty in your head, came out sounding weak and ridiculous.

However, you quickly discovered that Matt was one of those rare guys who listened as much as he talked. And after talking back and forth for another hour, surprising yourself that you actually did contribute to the conversation, you finally told him you needed to start heading for home.

"No problem. I'll walk you." Matt jumped up and started to grab your hand to help you up. You looked at his hand and then back up at him and before you could stop the word, it had had flown out of your mouth.

"No!" The word came out much louder than you had expected and Matt flinched as his eyebrows shot up. His normal smile left his face and was replaced with a look of real concern.

"It's ok. I don't have to walk you home, but...can I ask why not?"

How could you explain that even though you had never enjoyed being with a guy as much as you had with him, that you were starting to feel like you just needed to be alone and not talk for a while. He seemed to love being around people and while you had loved every minute of your time with him, it was still a strain for you. Plus, your mind was still trying to come to grips with the idea that he truly seemed to want to be with you. That couldn't be right. There must have been something you were missing.

"Um..." You stammered, looking for the right words to tell him so that he wouldn't think you were a complete freak for needing some time to process everything that had just happened. As cute as he was, he probably talked to a lot of girls and this meant nothing to him. Your heart sank as you realized how silly you were being by thinking he might be interested in you. He was probably just bored and thought you would be an easy person to waste a little time on.

Finally, having convinced yourself that your thoughts were true, you slid hurriedly out of the booth and giving him a brief glance, you moved to push past him.

"What did I do wrong?" Matt's hand was gentle on your arm but you could tell he was getting angry.

"I really have to go." Your tears were so close to the surface that you could barely see.

He studied as much of you as he could see with your head down and your hair hanging in your face.

"Fine." He lifted his hand off your arm. "Then go if you have to go." You knew he was confused and hurt but you couldn't explain your feelings so you rushed out the door of the restaurant and down the steps, tears completely blurring your vision.

Your mind kept beating you up about how stupid you were and why you didn't just tell him how you felt. It had always been a struggle for you to talk to new people but it surprised you how easy it was to talk to Matt. So why did the familiar awkwardness have to come back right at the time he was asking to spend more time with you? Your mind was really starting to do a number on your emotions but this time you were actually starting to get mad about it. Every time you looked in the mirror, you saw a pretty, funny, interesting girl who you knew people would love if you let them get to know you. And you really wanted to know Matt Brown. He was handsome and funny and interesting. But you were sure you had blown any chance you had with him by doing like you always did and running away.

"Hey!" The loud voice from behind you made you turn suddenly, your heart in your throat.

"Hey, Matt." You wanted to run and hide but you were afraid if he followed you this far, he would follow you further. Your mind registered that new fact a couple of beats later. He had followed you.

"Look, I'm still kinda mad that you ran out on me like that." He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he smiled and leaned toward you. "But I've never met anyone like you who I can talk to and who listens to me and everything you say makes me want to hear more from you. And I know you aren't as much of a talker as I am but I loved hearing everything you talked about and I want to hear more of what you have to say." Matt's blue eyes were shining as he looked at you and he was talking so fast that you wanted to look away, but you didn't. You forced yourself to stand and look at his sweet face and you made yourself say the words that were in your mind.

"I don't like to talk that much. It's safer to keep most things in my head."

"But you talked to me a lot." Matt took a step closer to you.

"You are so easy to be with."

"You make it easy." His hands reached out for yours.

"Matt." Your mind tried to shut you down but you forcefully pushed the words out of your mouth. "If I let you in, do you promise not to break anything?"

"Your heart is safe with me."

Taking a deep breath and a leap of faith, you looked into his eyes and opened your heart.