Sterek one-shots

Thankful For My Sourwolf

This one-shot talks about depression, eating disorders, and cutting. Don't read if it will be a trigger to you.

It is not graphic. It talks more about the scars then the actual cutting. 

It's fluffy at the end. 

Stiles POV

I walked into the loft for the first time in months. My dad had sent me away because he thought I was getting to depressed and needed help. Maybe he was right but that place didn't fix me. You tell them what they want to hear, make it look like you're happy, and BOOM! You're released.

When I walked in I saw the entire pack was there. They were probably having a meeting or something. I don't know why I came here, I wanted to see Derek but I know deep down he doesn't like me. We're not even friends.

"STILES!" I heard making me look up. I knew it was Scott. He wrapped me in a hug while everyone else came over, everyone except Derek. "Sorry I didn't call." I said softly toward the alpha. He shrugged "Glad you're okay." Derek replied not moving. "How are you!?" Scott asked. "I'm fine" I'm not fine, please help me. "Are you sure? I don't want to see you like that ever again." He said sadly. "I'm better, I promise." I've never been this bad. 

The lies just keep coming. Great Stiles, be a liar. Nobody likes liars. Especially Derek. Now he'll never want you.

I closed my eyes and sighed as the voice went at it again. I opened them when I felt someone grab onto me. "Are you sure you're okay?" It was Derek. I nodded. He didn't push any further as he lead me to the couch. "As I was saying.." He continued on with the meeting. I don't even want to think about the supernatural right now. I can barely control myself. God! I'm so useless. "Stiles?" Isaac asked getting my attention. "Derek asked if you wanted to help on this one or not." he said. I shook my head "I-I can't I'm n-not ready." WHY AM I STUTTERING? "That's fine." Derek replied continuing with whatever else it was he was talking about. 

Derek ended up ordering pizza toward the end of the meeting. It's how they all ended. Pizza, junk food, and movies. It was nice. While everyone else went to go get food I sat on the couch. I didn't get up. I wouldn't allow it. "You want me to get you some?" Derek asked. I shook my head. "I already ate. But, thanks." I starve myself now. People think picking up new habits is strange when you're away. It's not. "Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded "Yeah, besides my stupid new diet plan doesn't allow pizza." Really, that exists. I didn't make that up. My doctor gave my dad a list of foods I have to eat and foods I shouldn't eat. Although, I've never looked at it so I don't know what's on it. I don't really care either. Derek sighed but nodded and walked off.

During the movie I got squished between Scott and Isaac. Which I didn't mind, but like I said, I came to see Derek. I ended up falling asleep so when I woke up everyone had left. Someone put a blanket over me and gave me a pillow. I walked around the loft until I found Derek. He was sitting at a desk in his bedroom. "Hi." I said softly making him turn. "Hi" He replied taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. "Sorry I fell asleep." I added. "It's fine. You can stay here it's pretty late." He said. "Are you sure?" I asked. He nodded "I wouldn't have said it otherwise." He chuckled. "O-okay." I said softly. Is there a way to curl up into a ball and just disappear? Cause I need that right now. 

"You okay? You seem to be lost up there a lot." Derek said softly getting up. I shrugged. "I'm okay." I want to die. "Is that why you're always stuck inside your own head?" He asked. "I'm stuck because there's no way out. My head is currently a horrible place to be." I said. I shouldn't of said that. Why did I say that? I'm so fucking stupid. So so so fucking stupid.

"Then I guess we have to find a way to get you out of there, don't we?" He said. I didn't reply, I looked down. I really shouldn't have said that. I felt Derek pull me into a hug. "I don't like seeing you like this." He said. "Derek, I'm fine. I promise." I said. "Don't lie to me." He said softly but words filled with anger. "How would you know if I'm lying or not?" I snapped. "Besides the fact I'm a werewolf? It takes one to know one kid." He said walking out of his room and down the stairs.

I followed him down the stairs into the kitchen. "What are you talking about?" I asked. He sighed "Nothing, forget it." He mumbled looking through the fridge. "I uh..I'm guna go home." I said softly grabbing my coat. "Stiles, you don't" I cut him off "I want to go home." I said walking out of the loft before he could say anything else. 

Why am I so stupid? To think Derek Hale would actually open up to me? Pathetic little human me. I'm not important to him, why would he talk to me. Why did I tell him that. He doesn't care what I'm going through. I'm so stupid. Ugly, pathetic, fat, stupid. God, why do I mess everything up all the time? I just want one person, one, to care about me. To tell me they understand and actually understand. My dad sends me away, Scott told me to "cheer up" thanks bud. I'm fixed now. Great advice.

I sat on my bed. Don't cut. You don't need to cut. You can get through the night without it. Fuck it. 

I walked into my bathroom grabbing the blade and walking back out. When I came back out I saw Derek. He looked down at my hand and up again. He sat on my bed taking off his jacket and holding his arm out to me. "Come on, let's do this." he said. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "If you want to cut yourself, then you're going to take my arm, look me in the eyes, and cut as many times you would yourself." He said. "I-I couldn't hurt you like that." I said. He gave me a look. That's when I understood. He held out his hand silently asking me to give him the blade. I looked at it before setting it gently in his hand. He stuffed it in one of his jacket pockets and pulled me into a hug. 

"I know what you're dealing with, okay?" he said. I laughed "Everyone thinks they understand Derek. They don't. You don't." I said. He sighed undoing his pants. "Um, excuse me. Stop that." I said seeing him roll his eyes. "relax." He said as they dropped the the floor. He pulled his boxers up a little showing me the scars that laced his thigh. "I know what you're dealing with, okay?" He repeated. "B-but, no, and...you're a wolf..I.." I couldn't form the questions racing through my head into words. "Wolfsbane does wonders Stiles." He sighed pulling his pants back up. "Why?" I asked getting closer to him. "I thought the fire was my fault, I blamed myself for it, hell, I still blame myself for it." He said resting his hands on my hips. I brought my hands up to grip his biceps. "Der, that wasn't your fault." I said feeling tears gather in my eyes. "I know. And your mom wasn't your fault." He replied. "Sh-she said I killed her." The tears finally broke down my face. "You didn't kill her. She was sick." He said wiping my tears. I stared at him not knowing what to say. "You're beautiful." He said softly. I felt my face heat up. "No, I'm not." I replied. "Yes. You are. And I'm always happy to remind you." He said pulling me into a kiss.

When we pulled away I let out a choked laugh. "Derek Hale just kissed me." I mumbled to myself. I heard him chuckled as he hugged me. "And I'll do it again." He said.

"Are you sure you want this?" The guy asked. I looked at Derek and back before nodding. When he was finished I watched Derek get in the chair. "You two aren't going to regret this right?" The guy asked. Derek shook his head pulling me over to him and kissing me. "I love you so much." He told me. "I love you too Der."

"What is on your arm?" Scott asked as Derek and I walked in hand in hand. The pack knew about us just after we became a couple. "We got tattoos." I said. "Of what?" Lydia asked walking over. I sighed showing them my arm. Over top of my scars in Derek's handwriting was "Thankful for my Sourwolf" which they didn't understand why I got it. They didn't need too. "What about you Derek?" Isaac asked. Derek looked at me making me smile. "It's uh..It's on my thigh.." He mumbled. "So strip." Scott laughed. Derek rolled his eyes but pulled down his pants. On his thigh in my writing was "Thankful for my human." Derek didn't look at any of them. Nobody knew he had scars until now. The pack smiled ignoring the fact that there were scars all over him and told him it was sweet. He relaxed a little after that and pulled his pants up again.

"I love you." He said softly to me. "I love you too." I replied.

All I knew is that right now, I felt better. I felt happy. I felt truly, blissfully happy and I haven't felt like this in years. Without my Sourwolf, I might not even be here right now. I finally found someone who understands, someone who loves me and helps me in the ways they should.

My Sourwolf.