ariana 15: letting go

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"are you alright?" i looked up to see a very worried frankie. i want to tell him the truth but i didn't like seeing him look miserable too. i've had enough.

i chuckled lowly, meeting his confused gaze. "i'm fine." i reached for his cold hand.

even though i told him i was alright, he still looked sad... for me.

i gave a straight face when i looked back at the ground.

scooter walked in with a phone on his ear. "stay there." he said like a boss to the one he's talking to. that's probably him.

frankie squeezed my hand. i returned it with a small smile.

"ariana, he's here."

maybe i look pale. i felt pale. i feel sick. but i have to face this. i stood from my seat and followed scooter to the lobby of the hotel.

when i got there, i saw sean sitting down on one of the couches. he knew i was there. the media stood up from outside and then, flashes from cameras started to go crazy. "ariana!" some say. i give a fake smile, since that's what i'm good at.

sean slowly looked up at me. he stood slowly and without any single word, he reached for me and hugged me.

as our bodies meet, i felt the fear in me get in my heart. i closed shut my eyes and just let everything sink in.

his hands went down at the small of my back and i felt like at any time, i'd break out. he tightened the hug making me feel suffocated. although i was over reacting, it feels like my soul is really suffocated by his hug. maybe because of our feelings.

"i missed you."

his words made me sink in his body. i felt sudden tears fall down my swollen eyes. there were a lot of people surrounding us, but it seems like were all alone. for the first time, after the incident - i felt real. now... i know what to do, i guess.

he let go and grabbed me to the elevator. we earned the spotlight. frankie didn't know how to react though. he looked a little bit lost. we got in the elevator and pressed the button that would lead us to our floor.

"i'm glad you're here." scooter smiled.

sean smiled back but didn't say anything else.

the elevator doors opened, revealing the long hallway. we got out, went in our separate ways.

i opened the door for sean. i entered first. he closed the door behind us. the room felt silent and awkward. it felt dry. and i was afraid. that in any moment, it'll be hard for me to breathe.

i sat on the chair beside the balcony. what am i doing? i chuckled and looked up at sean. "do you want some coffee?"

he followed me and sat in front of my seat.

"aren't you tired?" i tried to make the mood welcoming. i know that acting normal won't make things back to where it was. "i heard the media bashed you at the airport." i laughed it off. he still has his straight face. but it didn't waver my stand. "you know what," i casually laughed. "when we also got here, the media bashed us. it was so weird they were talking - "

i didn't notice him calling my name. "ariana." his cold voice made me stop.

my eyes widen. his eyes were so scary, for a second i thought it wasn't him.

"can we be real for a moment?" his expression changed into a soft one. "can you tell me the truth?"

despite the cold feeling inside me, i felt like i needed to lie. "what truth?" i chuckled.

"do you really want me to ask you straight forwardly?"

i was stunned for a moment. "what are you - "

"do you like justin?"

it caught me off guard. i didn't want to blink. i was scared that tears would fall from it. but i already had the answer in my mind. though, not every answer is true. "i don't." i tried laughing. i inhaled more to forget the feeling.

his forehead was creased. he opened his mouth to say something. but what was it? did he believe me? he closed his mouth and massaged his temples. this is the moment of truth. he looked up at me. "i believe you."

it made me smile. a small tear fell down my cheek. sean stood up and went to my side. he knelt in front of me and kissed me softly.

"i'm sorry if i misinterpreted everything." then he pulled me into a hug.

"you don't have to be sorry." i stopped myself from breaking into a sob. he doesn't need to be sorry. he must not be sorry, i thought.

"i know that you won't betray me... right?" he caressed my back. and caressing doesn't make me feel comforted. it felt like scrubbing me to pain.

i had a hard time blocking the truth and i bursted a cry. i covered my mouth with my hand.

he looked up at me and cupped my cheek with his hand. "what's wrong baby?"

"i'm," my chest heaved up and down. more tears fell down. "really really sorry." he doesn't know that i'm lying to him. and that's what i'm sorry for.

"what?" he chuckled and wiped my tears away. "there's no need to be sorry, baby." you don't know how sorry i am.

i didn't say anything else. he continued to caress my back.

×

"did you forget anything?" sean asked when he saw me looking back at the hotel.

"no." i muttered, smiling to myself. he put his arms around my shoulder and kissed my hair.

"i'm so excited to spend my time with you back home."

was i also excited? i looked down at my fingers. ariana, we need to get back into reality, i thought to myself. i cupped my hands on his cheek and kissed him with passion. "i can't wait." i whispered after kissing him.

maybe it's just for now. this pain inside me. i know that i still like justin. but i can't pursue this feeling inside of me. so... i need to forget justin. and the only solution to that is going on with my life with sean by my side.

***

quite a boring and a short chapter... sorry. the next chapters would be a heartbreaking period for us shippers. UGHH WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE IN THIS DESPAIRR

And bad news for me today. Not really today but since im posting today... My babies on break!! Im crying :( can't wait for 2 years. #1D

Anyway, back to the storyyyy. Let's wait for them to be together... if ever they'll be together. :>

God bless

xx

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