Chapter 45

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Adverse effects of my birth control shot. After ruling out with a blood test that I wasn't pregnant my doctor concluded that my birth control shot must have been the problem. When I asked him why I didn't have the symptoms early on he couldn't answer. I got it in a little over a month now and he told me I would have to wait until it wore off on its own which was in less than two months. My doctor also said that the stress of everything I've been going through these past few months probably had something to do with some of my symptoms as well and suggested that I talk to someone. Maybe I did but then again I didn't want to. 

To say I was relieved was an understatement. I didn't want kids right now, I was still undecided if I wanted children at all to be honest. Since Thursday after school August who hasn't contacted me since last Friday has suddenly out of the blue started blowing up my phone calling and texting. To bad I didn't and wasn't planning on answering or responding to him, I didn't even read any of his messages so I did what I should of did last week and blocked him. At school Friday morning I told the girls I was 100 percent not pregnant and told them to spread the word so some of these stupid ass rumors could get laid to rest. But I knew a whole new set of rumors would start but I didn't care, they could say what they wanted. I was done caring about what other people think. 

 Throughout the whole day though I still had people looking my way and some blatantly stared at my stomach like they were expecting to see a baby bump. Just to prove to people I wasn't pregnant I wore a tight white long sleeve shirt so they could see my stomach was flat and I had no baby bump whatsoever. 

 By the time the last class was getting out I was happy. For one it was Friday, and two me and the girls had planned to chill right after school. No boys, no talk about boys just relax and have fun and pig out and I couldn't wait since it's been awhile. I told myself I was going to go on a diet but I decided to start tomorrow, better yet Monday so I could pig out the whole weekend once last time. I told them that I would pay the whole bill since I was in a good mood.

 I walked to the parking lot with Tony. The whole week I've been in no mood to talk to anyone but today I was feeling in a better so I walked with him to the parking lot. I had to wait around for the girls to leave and knowing them they would take twenty minutes so I talked to Tony to make the wait less long. 

 "You actually look happy today." 

 "I don't look happy everyday?" 

 "Not lately." 

 It's because I haven't been, especially with the thought of being pregnant running rampant on my brain. Along with everything else plaguing me, the nightmares I was having off and on and not to mention 'he who shall not be named. 

 "I'm feeling good, it's just the rumors have been kind of getting to me." 

"About you being pregnant?" 

"Yeah," I nodded. 

 "And it's just a rumor...right...I mean if you don't mind me asking." 

 "There just stupid rumors all of it, I'm not pregnant," I smiled. 

 "And your happy about that?" 

 "Yes, what person wants to have a baby at 18?" I stopped and looked over at him with an apologetic smile. He had his son while he was 18 and the last thing I wanted to do was offend him. 

 "I mean for me." 

 "I know what you meant, you didn't hurt my feelings. It's how I felt when I found out I was having a kid. I thought my life was over and I honestly thought about abortion but I couldn't ask her to do that. So I stepped up. It was hard and I was scared like any 18 year old would have been but when I look at my son now I don't even want to think about the fact that I wanted to not have him. That little boy is my life, my motivation and everything I do, I do for him." 

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