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Fantasia's POV
A week has passed since my downtown L.A. concert, and since then I haven't seen or spoken to Taraji. She has me blocked on everything- her phone, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. Hell, I can't even reach her through Gmail. I don't think she understands what she's doing to me. I can't think straight because every single thought that my brain produces is about her. I'm having withdrawals, and it's making me extremely snappy with everyone and everything, especially my poor husband. Everything that Kendall does or says lately just seems to irritate me for no reason, and the worst part is that it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with a woman that I can't have. How is it possible for me to want one woman so much when I've never even been with a woman? I've tried to pray my desire for her out of my body, but I don't think God is listening because I still crave her to the point that it makes my stomach hurt. I haven't been eating like I should, because I only hunger for Taraji, but at least I'll look good for the movie. Filming begins in two days, and Oprah is flying the whole cast out to Atlanta on her private jet. Taraji won't be able to run away from me thousands of feet up in the air. She won't have a choice but to face me.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the feeling of Kendall picking me up and spinning me around in the air like I was weightless. He was celebrating his first hole-in-one of the day. He wanted to spend some quality time together away from the kids, so he took me out to the High Hills Country Club for a golf date. I never played golf before I met Kendall, but he enjoys the game and I've been feeling guilty for my attitude lately, so I'm trying to be a good sport now and do whatever he wants to do. He pecked my lips when he put me back down on the ground, making me giggle.
Kendall: Did you see that babe?
Fantasia: Yeah, it was really good baby. Tiger Woods better watch out.
The lie was small and unnecessary, but I didn't have it in my heart to tell him that I didn't see it because I was occupied with thinking about someone else. This day is supposed to be about the two of us, and only the two of us. Not Taraji. That woman consumes my mind from the moment I wake up to the moment I lay down and close my eyes, and the next day it just starts all over again. When I see her, not even God Himself will be able to get me up off of her. I can't escape her, so why should she be able to escape me? I see her face everywhere I go. It's hard to see anyone else, even my loving husband.
Kendall: I can help you score, baby. It's all about your form.
I got into position to strike the ball with my putt while Kendall stood behind me, his crotch pressing into my ass. He snaked his arms around me, placing his hands over mine to control my swing. About four months ago I would have been really turned on by the close proximities of our bodies and the scent of his cologne invading my senses so strongly, but four months ago I didn't know Taraji P. Henson. Since meeting her, it seems like the only thing that can arouse me is her. It's not fair to Kendall, but it's the truth and I can't do anything about it. Only Taraji can.
