~ Marianna Ortez ~
"Shhhh it's okay won't cry," Aniyah rubbed my back as I puked my guts out into the toilet.
"What do you mean don't-" I was cut off mid sentence by throwing up again.
"Oh my god!" Aniyah sighed. She grabbed a hair tie from her wrist and wrapped my hair in a bun. "I can't believe this."
"Bitch I can't do this." I groaned and stood from the floor. I walked over to the sink and grabbed my tooth brush, brushing my teeth.
It's been four days since I left. Four days since I've spoken to Jahseh. I told him I'd be back in a few days, but I don't think I'll be going back.
I might just send someone for my things.
I need to protect myself. And my baby.
"What the fuck are we gonna do with a baby! I can't believe that you're pregnant!" Amiyah ranted.
"We? This isn't your problem," I explained.
"You're like my sister, we're in this together. That's my niece or nephew in there." She looked at my stomach.
My eyes teared up and I looked away, did I even want this.
Would he?
What the fuck am I going to tell him?
And to make shit worse my birthday is in two days. I turn eighteen in two days and I'm fucking pregnant.
What a tragedy.
"Don't cry," Amiyah told me. "It's okay it's gonna be okay."
"Jahseh is gonna be so mad," I explained.
"Then don't tell him. What the fuck, he's not about to stress you out while you're pregnant. Play it safe. If you think he'll want the baby, then tell him. But if you think it's gonna cause stress then don't cause it's not good for you." She explained.
I nodded my head. "I have so much to think about."
"I have a question and be honest. I'm not gonna judge you, I just want you happy."
"What is it?" I sat my tooth brush down and rinsed my mouth with mouthwash.
"Do you want to be with Jahseh?" She asked. "Honestly?"
"Yeah I do, but not like this." I cried. "And I feel like really bad because girls would kill for him and I'm just here playing."
"You're not playing you're taking time to think about what you want, and that's good. Because now you have to think about you and the baby."
"I have to talk to him don't I?" I frowned.
"Yes you do, but not until you're ready. That's something you have to decide no one else," she explained.
I nodded my head, "maybe tomorrow or the next day."
"Whatever you want to do, I'm here for you and my godbaby."
I laughed, "how do you know you're gonna be the godmother?"
"Because I'm her. Duh," she joked.
I shook my head and laughed at her joke.
My phone began ringing. I saw jahsehs name on the caller ID. This is the seventh phone call I've gotten today.
"Do you want me to answer it? Or just hang up?" Aniyah asked.
"I'll answer it," I sighed and slowly clicked 'accept'.
"Hello," my voice was shaky.
"Marianna? I've been calling and calling, what's going on?" He asked.
"I just needed some time to think," I explained.
"Oh, okay." He sounded really upset. Really sad.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I just... I can't sleep. I ca- I miss you," he confessed. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done none of that shit to you."
I sighed, "I don't know. You always say that and then do it again."
He stayed silent, but I could hear him breathing.
"There's gotta be something I can do," he sighed. "Please don't leave me baby."
"I need to think about everything some more," I admitted.
He sighed, "okay. I guess I have to agree to that. And respect it. And I do."
"Okay," I nodded my head.
"Can I come see you?" He asked.
"What?"
"Just for five minutes," he pleaded. "I won't even come inside, I just want a hug."
"You're gonna drive all the way here for a hug?" I asked.
"For you, yes."
"Alright, but only for five minutes." I agreed.
Maybe seeing him would help me make my decision.
