TereBin 2

The Guilt

The drive back home was in silence, both Meerub and Murtasim were engulfed in the thoughts of newfound intimacy between them. Meerub couldn't believe that Murtasim agreed to all her conditions. the thought of being with Murtasim and practicing Law at the same time. This is exactly what she used to dream for, Meesam being raised with her both parents and at the same time Meerub having her life too.

The Next morning was different for Meerub and Murtasim, they felt different towards each other. A strange sense of understanding prevailed between them; Meerub also felt a bit shy around Murtasim. The way he keep staring at her, not caring that they were sitting amongst the whole family.

Murtasim left the house after breakfast and did not return until late in the evening. Strangely Meerub was waiting for him to come back, she missed him. This surprised her herself. They had dinner together and again Meesam insisted that they sleep in her new room.

Once Meesam slept, Meerub made coffee for Murtasim, and they both sat in the patio outside their room, just like they used to enjoy coffee in Gao.

Murtasim holding Meerub's free hand, asked "Meerub."

Meerub; "Hmmm"

Murtasim: "I think we should let Meesam sleep in her room."

Meerub not understanding what Murtasim meant, immediately clarified, "Na Murtasim, she's just a baby and she insists sleeping in that room because it excites her, she will understand and will be fine."

Murtasim smiled, scratching his head sheepishly, "Meerub she will have to start sleeping in her room, we have camera's (baby monitors) in her room and also Feena will sleep with her."

Meerub still not understanding explained, "but she has always slept with me, she can't sleep alone."

Murtasim finally looked in her eyes and said, "Meerub! Now its my turn to sleep with you."

Meerub who was about to protest, suddenly realized what he meant, a blush crept from her neck to her face, and she tried to look away.

Murtasim gave a tug to her hand, indicating to look at him, in his eyes. She hesitantly looked towards him, with her heart pounding in her throat.

Murtasim continued; "Bolo Meerub, are you ready?"
Meerub felt shy and did not reply, instead started to look at the coffee mug in her hand.

"Meerub my 'sabar' had been tested for 5 years, only myself and my Allah knows how I have controlled myself before you left and after your return, don't you think its high time my punishment should be over?"

Meerub did not reply, and Murtasim started to get confused signals, "is she still not ready to give herself to me?"

"Meerub, we will not proceed an inch in this relationship without your complete consent."

Meerub stayed quiet, but a tear dropped from her eyes, which is not missed by Murtasim, he took the coffee mug from her hand and kept it on the coffee table and took both her hands in his and very softly asked;

"Meerub, Kya howa"

Meerub still did not reply but put her head on Murtasim's shoulder and started crying, Murtasim hugged her and kept soothing her, running one hand at her back up and down to comfort her.

"Shhh shhh, what is it Meerub, please don't cry like this, I will never force myself on you, you will always stay the love of my life, no matter what."

Meerub tried talking between her sobs, "I am tired of fighting Murtasim, I m tired of fighting my feelings for you, I just want to be free of this guilt trip that I carry with me."

Murtasim, "what guilt trip baby."

Meerub, "the guilt of denying myself to you Murtasim, I was not the only one who was forced into this marriage, you were equally pushed into it, and I blamed it all on you, then my trust for you because of Haya, my guilt of not making you part of Meesam's life for three years."

"I might not have said it aloud, but I have been carrying the guilt for years now, alone, but I am tired now, I want to unburden myself."

She kept talking in a low voice between her sobs, and Murtasim kept holding her in his embrace. As she calmed down a little, she tilted her face up to look at Murtasim's face, he was looking at her already.

The tear-stained face, misty eye, and trembling lips, it was almost impossible for Murtasim to control himself, he bent his head capture her lips in a very soft kiss. To his surprise, Meerub responded fervently and that was all the encouragement he needed, he deepened the kiss, hugging her more tightly.

As their lips met in a passionate kiss, years of pent-up emotions flooded to the surface. The patio became a cocoon where only their feelings existed, and time seemed to stand still. The gentle breeze played with Meerub's hair, and Murtasim's hand found its way to her back, pulling her closer.

As the kiss deepened, their hands explored, and their bodies drew closer, they could feel the weight of their past burdens slowly lifting. It was a moment of vulnerability, of surrender, and of embracing the love that had endured despite all the challenges.

Eventually, they pulled back, their foreheads resting against each other, their breaths mingling in the air. Murtasim brushed a strand of hair away from Meerub's face, his thumb caressing her cheek. He spoke softly,

"Meerub, I understand your pain, your guilt. But know this, we both made mistakes, and we've both grown. The past years have been a torment, but we have our Meesam in those years and look you became a Lawyer, it has shaped us into who we are today."

Meerub nodded; her eyes locked onto Murtasim's gaze. "I want to move forward," she said, her voice steady and determined. "I want to let go of the guilt and the pain and give us a chance."

Murtasim's heart swelled with hope. "Meerub, I've waited for this moment for so long. But I want us to take things at your pace. We'll build our trust anew, one step at a time."

They both knew that their love story wasn't just about romantic passion; it was about building a foundation of trust, understanding, and companionship.
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