She had built a wall around her heart, to protect it from any heart break because that's the most thing she's afraid of.
Until Jennie came to crumple it all down making her vulnerable and unsafe.
Lisa G!P
a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.
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Jennie Kim
A month...
Time flies so fast.
It seems like I just entered college yesterday yet here I am right now finishing the first semester..
It's winter break starting today and the first thing that I'm going to do is to visit a doctor.. It's kinda funny actually..
"Kai! Have you been waiting long? " I asked as soon as I got out of our apartment.. Yes.. Our.. Since Lisa told me that it's our home together..
"No, I actually just got here" he smiled at me..
"Thank you really for accompanying me to the hospital today.. Unnie Jisoo and Rosie said that they're busy." I said but he shook his head and gave me a warm smile..
"I'm telling you, it's fine. I don't have anything else to do after all" he said and so I nodded and sighed in relief. I'm glad that I'm not interfering to anything that he's doing..
I mean I don't really want to bother him but I can't also go to the hospital alone since I really feel bad whenever I'm inside of it... I can smell death and it scares me.
I wish Lisa could come with me but that'll be impossible because up until now.. I still haven't had the courage to tell her about my condition..
I know that's bad.
I know that what I've been doing is wrong but what can I do??
These days.. Me and Lisa is having a lot of bonds.. So many good memories are being made.. So many good times are being used and so many smiles are being processed..
I'm happy.. Because she's happy and I would never want to replace that smile on her face into a mad or crying mess.. At least not on purpose..
Everyday is like a new day when I'm with her.. Although we barely made time for each other since she's busy training to be a CEO and I'm busy doing a lot of school works..
Sometimes, we couldn't even see each other for days but once we did.. We both made sure that we had the best days of our lives to fulfill those days that we missed..
I'm getting more and more in love to her.. I'm falling deeper and deeper and deeper like my heart is digging it's own hole so it could fall again for Lisa..
I cherish her than any other things in the world.. Right now, she's the most important person to me.. And it sucks because I'm lying to her..
It sucks because I couldn't even bring myself to tell her the truth because if I did.. I'm afraid that she will take it the wrong way..
I don't really know what to do anymore... I'm loving her more and more everyday but my health..
It's getting worst and worst..
I'm not healing at all..
It's just makes me suffer.. Almost everyday..
"You lost weight again? " Kai knocked me out of my thoughts.. I did not notice that he was looking at me on our way down stairs..
"Yeah... Not intentional you know that.. It just happens" I smiled at him and he frowned..
"And Lisa is not curious or anything? " he asked and I nodded.. If she asks me anything about my condition.. I might actually pass out because I will never know what to say..
