Her Sweet Soul - ( JenLisa )

XVI

anx·i·e·ty

/aNGˈzīədē/

noun

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something

PSYCHIATRY

a mental condition characterized by excessive apprehensiveness about real or perceived threats, typically leading to avoidance behaviors and often to physical symptoms such as increased heart rate and muscle tension.

Lisa Manoban

It's friday night.

I had a long day, and all I want to do is go to sleep.

I've already brushed my teeth, I've washed my face, I've put on my comfiest pajamas, and I'm just about to go to bed. Well technically, my couch and watch a movie since I don't really sleep at night.. Not that comfortable at least

Everything is good. Everything is fine. Everything is going to be alright now. I hope.

So I lay down, and close my eyes. Hoping that I can at least have some sleep since I've been sleepless for days already.

I opened my eyes a couple minutes later. It's raining...

It's raining.. And I tried ignoring it. I can handle this. I won't be afraid any more.

Suddenly..

A flashbacks of terrible memories came running down my mind.. The car screech, the loud raindrops, the sound of the ambulance and police, my grandfathers voice and my mom's cry..

It felt terrible.. It scared me. It felt like it's happening all over again.

My throat feels a bit dry. Luckily, I always keep a water bottle on my center table, and I filled it up before I went to the couch.

I sit up and took a sip, hoping it will be enough to calm my throat and get back to sleep. I'm really tired, and that's all I can think about right now.

But something weird happens.

As soon as the water hit the dry spot at the bottom of my throat, it disappears.

I don't understand, so I take another sip. This time, a bigger one, just in case.

The same thing happens. It's gone before it can soothe the dryness in my throat.

I'm starting to notice that something is wrong. This hasn't ever happened before.

The dry patch is getting bigger, and it's starting to choke me. I take bigger and bigger sips of water but nothing can soothe it. The water feels strange and foreign in my throat, and it evaporates before it can do any good. Before long, I've already finished the one-liter bottle of water and I'm starting to panic.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I feel the water in my throat? What's happening?

I need more water. I know that at least. So I try and get up to go to the kitchen.

The world starts to swirl around. Balance is nothing but a memory. I can't focus because the couch that I'm sitting on is moving around in circles faster and faster. I don't understand anything. It's as if you're just hanging onto the column of a supersonic merry-go-round that got turned to maximum speed without notice.