The General's Daughter & His Majesty Book #1

Chapter Thirty One: The Glass House

Carperia
Nesrin's POV
"Why the long face my lady?" She smiled at me while brushing through the long locks of my hair. As though I'm finally noticing what she's doing, I snapped out of the thoughts.

"It's nothing." I shrugged.

"Today is a happy day. It's the king's birthday. It's something to celebrate."

"Why would anyone celebrate getting a year older?"

"Well, it's another year that one is alive and that is cause for rejoicing."

"If that is the case, why not celebrate being alive every other day we get to live? Why reserve it for that one particular day in a year? I think birthdays are just an excuse for people to be conceited. So what if someone was born on this day? Someone else is dying somewhere as we speak and this someone who was born on this day is responsible for endless loss of lives. What if he was not born at all? Wouldn't all those people be alive?"

She looks confused. "My lady-"

"Dictators celebrate their birthdays. Isn't it hypocritical to wish them well when we want them to drop dead?"

"My lady I just thought you would be happy for him. I apologize for causing you any discomfort."

I faced the mirror again without a word. There's a lot of hair on the floor. "I'm losing chunks of it."

"Are you stressed my lady? Stress can make hair fall out."

I am stressed all right. I'm stressed out of my mind trying to think of where Dargan could have stashed Cree. I was furious that night Shamim told me about it. I was armed with words for him but I couldn't go through with it. Some sane part of me forced me to restrain myself. I have been restraining myself and even feigning illness to avoid being around him.

But there's a party in his honour and Queen Everleigh demanded that I show up. I don't want to but here, in this palace, her word is law and instead of being dragged out of my room, I'll show up willingly.

"I'll just grow new hair eventually. Enough with the brushing."

She moved away. She began to pick up all the hair I have lost.  As she cleaned up, I gazed outside the window. The sun is high in the sky. Nothing should prevent me from enjoying this perfect Carperians weather but my heart is just not here. It's with Cree, wherever he is. I was bitter and sad about his 'death'. There was nothing else to feel. But now that I know he's alive, I feel regret for putting him in that position. What happened is more of my fault than Dargan or Cree.

"My lady, I don't know exactly what you're going through but I have heard some things. One if them is that you don't love the king and you have tried to escape him many times. I am for the opinion that people should marry for love and not obligation. But it's my silent opinion,which I'm only sharing because I understand what you're going through."

I turned to face the young woman with an innocent face. "What did you go through?"

"Well, I loved a man above my class. He was the son of a  wealthy businessman. He felt the same way and it was the best moment of my life! We would sneak around because he didn't want to be seen with a maid. It was... well, uncomfortable for me but I thought to myself, love Will overcome it all. Well I wrong. One day he suddenly left. I wasn't sure of where he was. I kept dropping by in his neighborhood day after day just looking for him but I never saw him. A whole year later, I passed by faithfully on a Friday like I was used to and uh... I saw him with a woman and a child. I came up with a million explanations as to what I saw and I decided to ask him. He told me he had been married a year. He married another." She smiled only to blink away tears. "He said it was an arrangement. He said I'm the only one he will ever love. He wanted me to be his mistress. I refused and here I am now. I do understand what it is like to love someone you can't be with. It will be an honour to be your confidant. Excuse me." She curtsied and left me.