Just One Night With You (Book 3 in the Just Series)

Chapter 34

Zarah

I watched Jason as he slept beside me.

I bit my lip and swallowed my sobs.

I covered my mouth to try to silence and stop my self from crying out loud.

He showed me the results of the tests done to him earlier from various doctors and they say the same thing. The tumour cannot be surgically removed because it's too risky. They say that he has a few months to live maybe longer depending on the aggressiveness of the tumour and his body. But I refuse to believe their findings.

Who are they to play God? To say that the man I love only has a few more months to live?

He's not going to die. We're going to defeat this. He's going to live and we're going to grow old together. Get married, have kids and have a happy life. We are going to do all those things because we're meant to be.

I wipe my tears away.

I snuggled close to Jason.

***

The very next day, Jason and I got into a little bit of an argument.

"I don't give a damn about what those doctors said! You are not going to die! We are going to fight this. Together!"

Tears fell from his eyes and I ran to him.

"I love you so much, Jason."

"I love you too, Angel. So fucking much."

I pulled back. I looked straight into his eyes. "Will you marry me?" I asked.

His eyes widen. "What... What did you say?" He stammered out.

I chuckled. "I asked you if you'll marry me."

He gave me a teary smile. He rested his forehead against mine.

He pulled something out from his pocket.

It's a ring box.

"I've been carrying this around with me for a while now. I talked to your parents and asked them for your hand in marriage. I even talked to your brother."

I smiled through my tears.

"I want to marry you," he broke off. He took a deep breath and continued. "You have no idea how much I want to marry you, but I can't. I can't put you through this..."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, cutting him off.

"Zarah, I promised that I'm going to fight this. And I will, but we have to be realistic. I may not win this battle. I don't want you to feel stuck and obligated..."

"Stop. Stop right there," I said angrily and I pulled away from him. "How dare you?" I asked him and he staggered back as if I just slapped him on the face. "How dare you decide for me? How dare you insinuate that I don't love you enough to want this life. My life with you? Our life together?"

"Zarah, that's not what I meant..."

"Then what exactly did you mean? You're telling me that you don't want me to be stuck. To be obligated to what? To be with you? To stay with you? To take care of you? Jason, I love you! I love you, so how fucking dare you?" I screamed at him. "I love you and no illness is going to make me stop loving you or scare me away. I don't care if I only have one more minute; one more hour; or one more day with you. I'll still want to be with you. I don't care if I have to take care of you for the rest of our lives. I love you and I would gladly do it."

"Zarah, I'm sorry. I didn't meant it that way. I just want the best for you. You deserve someone who can take care of you. The symptoms are just going to get worse from here on in and I don't want to be a burden to you."

I was fuming mad. I have never been this angry before. How can he even think for one second that I would ever feel that way about him. That I would feel stuck and obligated? That I would see him as a burden?

"If it were me? If I was the one who was dying. Would you leave me?" I asked. "Would you leave me because I'm going to need you more than you need me?

"Of course not," he said without hesitation. "How can you even ask me...?" His words died on his mouth as realization hit him.

"How can you?" I retorted back angrily. "its like you're telling me that I'm only with you for the good times. It's like you're saying that you mean nothing to me now, because you're sick!"

"Zar..."

"I'm with you through both good and bad times. That's what loving someone means. I love you. Period. How can you doubt that?"

The I saw it when it hit, Jason.

"Oh god," he said and pulled me into his arms. "I'm so sorry angel. So sorry. So fucking sorry. Please forgive me."

I hugged him back. "Don't ever say things like that to me again. Ever."

He nodded against me. "Never. I swear it. But Angel, please try to understand. I love you. I don't want you to be there to see... To see what's going to happen to me. I don't want you to see me be totally consumed by my illness. I want you to remember me healthy. I don't what you to see me die," he said brokenly.

"I want to be with you whatever happens. I want to be there through every headache, chills, tremors. But you won't die. I won't allow it," I said.

"I just want the best for you, Angel. You deserve the very best."

I pulled back and held his face in my hands. "I deserve you," I said. "You are the very best for me out there. There is no other man who will love me the way you do. Every time you look at me I see your love for me shining in your eyes. Every time you hold me, I can feel your love surrounding me. Every time you make love to me, your love consumes me. So you see, you are what I deserve. You are the very best... The absolute best for me out there."

He kissed me deeply. "I love you so much, Angel. But I'm scared," he said in tears. "I'm so fucking scared of not being with you. Of not having these moments with you. I want more time with you."

"That will never happen because you're not going anywhere. I won't let you leave me. And we'll have more time together. We'll have a lifetime together. I know it. We're meant to be," I said and rested my forehead against his. I breathe deeply, inhaling his scent. "There is something. Someone out there who can help us. My godfather, he's the best neurosurgeon out there. He's known for doing and achieving the impossible. We're
going to get his opinion. He can help us."

He nodded. "As long as I have you beside me Angel."

"Always," I said. Then a question hit me. "Jason, who else knows about this?" I asked.

"Just you."

"Jason, we have to tell your family. Your brothers. My brother. Marco. Everybody. This is not the time to hide this from the people who love you. Jason you've been fighting this alone for over a year now. It's time to let people in and fight this with us."

"But..."

"Jason... We're family," I insisted.

He sighed. "You're right. Okay."

I nodded. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here right beside you. But you still haven't answered my question..." I said.

His eyebrows shot up in question. "What question?"

"Will you marry me?" I asked with a hopeful smile on my face.

"Fuck, yes!" He said and lifted me off the floor and twirled me around.

We both laughed. "You and your foul mouth."

"You love my mouth," he wiggled his eyebrows while grinning wickedly.

Oh damn. I know that look.

"Jason... We have to talk to our family..."

"Later. I'm hungry," he said playfully as he carried me to our bedroom.

"You're insatiable," I said.

"Only for you my angel."