The Promise of the Dawn

Chapter Thirty-Six: When Mourning Comes

They carried his body from the forest the following morning.

He had been killed by runaway raiders, to protect my reputation among the Estate.

A tragic accident. One that led me into my room, where I would stay for days on end, sitting in silence, and staring blankly at the wall. I barely ate. I barely slept. I only stared. That is, until a gentle knock sounds on my door, and Cael enters, wearing entirely black clothing, much like everyone else among the Estate as we mourned.

He wore the color well.

"Amaris? It's time" He says as he steps into my room, interrupting my moment of silence.

Time. The funeral.

I should've been looking forward to finally putting him to rest, but instead I dreaded it. Not because I hated him. Not because I felt immense guilt. But because I knew there would be people there merely pretending they were affected. People merely pretending they knew him well. And it felt unfair to those of us who truly were. Those of us being Brianna and I.

Without another word, I stand up, walking slowly towards Cael as if in a trance, who puts his arm around my shoulder as I arrive to him, and escorts me down the hallway, out the grand entrance, past the sight of the crime, and to the militial burial grounds, where all trainees and Guardians alike were put to rest.

Brianna arrives soon after, and I half expect Cael to leave my side, but instead, he stands his ground, and reaches for my hand as they lower Arthur's casket into the ground, encasing my own in his warm grip. I look up towards him in surprise as he grabs my hand, and he simply smiles softly. That same smile I'd fallen in love with what feels like ages ago. I glance back at Brianna, who's standing a distance away from us, alone, and secluded from the bigger group.

She couldn't have had a good view from back there.I meet eyes with her, and when I do, I usher her over, and she comes over to stand beside me, wiping a tear from her beautiful green eyes, which are now filled with tears. I knew exactly how she was feeling in that moment.

And I finally understood her for the very first time.

I grab her hand, as Cael had mine, and she smiles in comfort, before focusing on the service as it continued on.

At the end of the service, the body of the group leaves, along with the pastor who performed the service, leaving the three of us alone among the graveyard.

Cael walks over to Brianna, lacing her arm through his and beginning to walk away.

"Are coming, Amaris?" He asks me.

"I'll be along shortly" I reply, keeping my gaze fixated on the new headstone in front of me, with Arthur's name etched onto it.

Cael nods and walks off with Brianna, leaving me alone, and I walk over to a nearby flower patch just outside of the graveyard, collecting a small bouquet before coming back to the brand new grave. I set the flowers atop the grave, kneeling and placing my hand on top of the headstone. Then, I shut my eyes, begging for forgiveness, and apologizing yet again for what I had to do.

As the tears fall down my cheeks, landing atop the dirt of the grave, I vow I'll never do anything like this again, before standing up and staring at the headstone for one last moment, and exiting the cemetery.

The next few days pass by in a blur of training and walking among the halls in a trancelike state. It still hurts when think about that night, so I promised myself whenever I even began to think about it, I'd head to the training grounds and redirect my attention on training, although sometimes, my training also reminded me of him, but I fought through it. They hadn't assigned me with a new partner, in fear that I wouldn't accept them. So instead, I trained alone with only my thoughts, away from everyone else.