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Warning! this chapter deals with suicide and the aftermath because of that. please take caution while reading.
*also! i know how annoying it is when a character cries all the time, so just bare with me through the next couple of chapters. the best thing about stories to me is how they portray human emotions and how realistic a person writes it. that's what i hope to accomplish in this story! losing a parent is not easy, so ana will be in the grieving process for awhile. so, bare through the tears lmao. sorry for the rant. love u besties;)*
"Dear Anastasia, I married your dad when I was twenty five, and It was the happiest I ever thought I could be. I never truly imagined anything could top it. It was just him and I, and that's the way I wanted it to be. You see, people always say how the greatest joy accomplished is having a child. And you truly don't understand that feeling until you're in it yourself. Marrying your father and getting away from that sad, small town in Ohio was what I thought was the happiest moment of my life. But, how wrong I was. When I got pregnant with you I was beyond terrified, and I honestly didn't think I would be able to do it. But Charlie never doubted it for a second. And for a few months it was that way for a while. I knew I should have been over the moon, but I couldn't get passed my skepticism. Charlie never gave up, everyday he'd bring home baby clothes and things to build a nursery. I was jealous of his beaming joy, and I couldn't understand why I wasn't sharing in it. But as time grew on and the more people I talked to, I learned that the feeling was quite common, and the only remedy was time. So, I did. I gave it time. Because sure enough, when I saw your first ultra sound picture I was the happiest woman in the world. I had an actual visual of you then, proof of what everyone was telling me about. And then it all changed, all I could think of was you. Everyday I talked to, read and sung to you. You were becoming my greatest joy just like everyone said. And when you were born, it only amplified. I felt on top of life with you and Charlie. Unbeatable, unstoppable. In a way, I felt like I had it all. But then your dad got sick, and our lives slowly began falling apart. I felt like my safety net was diminishing, like the very thing that kept me sane was being swept out from underneath me. And then when he died, I felt like my soul had been crushed. The pain was a feeling that outlasted anything else. Losing the love of your life is a feeling I hope you never have to endure, and I hope you will never be able to understand why I threw myself away because of it. I made you grow up to fast, made you become the adult. You took care of me when I should have been taking care of you. I'm sorry, Ana. But I can't go on. I'm not, nor will I ever be the same woman I used to be. God knows how much I love you. And please trust me when I say that I'm doing this for you. Me being here is holding you back. I've seen it. Go out in the world and be free. Be with Michael. Forget about me and move on. Just always know that I love you, and you've been my greatest accomplishment in this life. Forgive me, my darling- Mom."
Michael took a breath as he finished off the letter, looking up to observe the girl in front of him. Ana had not changed, and he was surprised to see no tears falling down her face. He watched her for a few moments, wondering if she was going to say anything. He didn't know how to feel about the letter. He was glad the words weren't cruel and violent, but he couldn't help the anger he felt because of it. Despite how much he disliked Helena, he was angry she had chosen to leave and cause her this great amount of pain.
