I was requested to write a silly one-shot with any band of my picking. So I hope your request is very silly I tried my best
vampiregirl2131890
Freddie groans at the sound of his front door being beat on, he looks at the clock and decides that any bastard beating on his door at 2AM deserves to beat with a baseball bat. He unlocks the door with mutters of “coming coming” and “hang on you dick”. He didn’t even think to ask who was there, he got murdered, he got murdered that was his philosophy.
He finally unlocks the sixth lock and flings the door open he sees a frazzled blond haired boy. His baby blue eyes are filled with panic, “Farrokh, I need help.”
“What is so fucking important that you wake the entire dorm up at 2AM with all your banging?” Freddie grouched,
“I’m Roger from your forensic science. I need chloroform, Farrokh.” Roger rushes out.
“Excuse me?” Freddie exclaims stepping back, “Why do you need chloroform at 2AM?!” he was about to slam the door in Roger’s face when Roger grabbed onto the door,
“Farrokh I know you have the key to our forensic science classroom. You stole it from Professor Deacon, please help me… it for a project…..I’ll do your homework for a full semester?”
Freddie sighs and grabs the key out of his nightstand, “Lets go.”
“Oh thank you! Thank you, Farrokh!” Roger hugs him tight and Freddie shoves him off,
“Hurry up before I change my mind, blondie.”
The two walk out of the dorms and into the classroom wing across from the dorms they sneak inside and make it to room 3C,
“Oh Farrokh we’re here!”
“My name is Freddie, please quit calling me Farrokh, that's my dead name.” Freddie hisses twisting the knob,
“Oh sorry..” Roger meekly says.
Surprisingly the door was unlocked and didn’t need the key. When the door was slowly opening they could hear the moaning loud ass moaning. Freddie and Roger peek their heads in there like nosy teenagers. Professor Deacon had someone bent over his desk and was roughing fucking into them,
“Is that his wife?” Roger asks craning his neck trying to see over Freddie,
“No his wife had red straight hair this one has curly black hair.” Freddie points out, “And that curly one is a man.”
After a loud shout the two pulled away from each other panting like dogs in heat they didn’t realize they had a small audience, “Do I get an A now, Professor Deacon?” the curly haired one asks.
“Mm, I don’t know.” Deacon sips some water from his water bottle, “You didn’t let me do that thing I wanted.”
“I told you I don’t feel comfortable with you doing that.” curly tells him sternly, “If you don’t stop I’ll tell your wife.”
Freddie looks to Roger, “Plan E.”
Roger nods, “Plan E.”
Roger crawls into the room staying low to the floor. Curly seems to have spotted him but doesn’t say anything he keeps arguing with the professor. Roger grabs a bottle of chloroform out of the box and starts crawling back as fast as he can then Professor Deacon grabs Curly pinning him down as he kicks and twists around,
Rodger leaps onto Deacon’s back and tries to shove the bottle underneath his nose, “Smell the roses motherfucker!!”
Deacon grabs a bottle of Febreze and sprays Roger in the eyes with making Roger scream,
“My eyes smell like fresh linen now!” Roger cries holding his eyes.
Freddie smashes a desk against Deacon's head, "Nighty night motherfucker!!''
Deacon falls to the ground he lets out a massive fart as he falls, “Kill him!” Roger screams,
“Yeah kill him!” Curly yells,
“Er… Don't you feel that everyone here is a little too gung-ho about murder.” Freddie says putting his hands up.
Roger groans, eyes red and watery, “Lets just help his mistress and head home. I got the chloroform.”
Curly backs up, “Not for you.” Roger tells him.
Freddie places his coat around Curly seeing as the only clothes on the ground are Deacon’s, “Where are your clothes?” Freddie asks.
“Please just take me back to my dorm.” was all that curly said before bumming a cigarette off of Roger,
“Alright then.” Freddie lets curly lead them back to his dorm which was very far away from their own dorms. They watch him unlock it.
As soon as the door opened up the rank smell of weed hit, curly gestures for them to follow him inside and the bumbling pair of idiots do so. A blond girl was sitting on the couch looking around and smiling, an auburn haired boy was making out with a dark haired boy on his lap and a bong was left on the table.
“This is my roommate Cynthia, her boyfriend John, “ curly points to the auburn haired boy, “And John’s boyfriend Paul.”
“Hey Brian.” Cynthia greets him warmly, “I’m glad you’re here. I need you to watch these two, I need to hit the hay.”
Curly whose name was Brian nods and sends her into one of the bedrooms, “You can crash here for the night.” Brian offers.
Roger yells, “Free weed!” he collapses down onto the only couch which makes Paul and John grunt,
“Bitch.” John hisses grabbing onto Paul’s ass,
“Jerk.” Roger laughs
John and Paul continue to neck each other and it’s to the point they were nearly fucking in front of Roger,
“And on that note I’m going to bed.” Freddie says his duckie slippers quacking as he walks.
And then a boy with big blue sad eyes bursts in slammin Freddie into the wall behind the door, “Have you seen the cat that has my wallet?”
“Do you mean a cat or do you mean a woman?” Roger asks using John’s bong happily.
The blue eyed boy spitters and sputters so intelligible alien language and screams, Freddie wishes the night would end already. As if on cue a fat orange cat zooms in and plops the old wallet on John’s thigh, “Good kitty.” John scratches behind orange cat’s ears,
“You taught him to steal!” blue eyes yells,
“Yes, now go away I’m horny.” John hisses taking Paul into the other bedroom.
Freddie curls up on the couch it reeks of sweat, sex, and weed but it was a place to sleep. Finally as he closes his eyes and let sleep take over him Roger pipes up, “Hey Freddie?”
Freddie snaps his eyes open and screams up to the gods and causes quite a stir in the dorms. But it was night in college they’ll never forget.