-Blake-
The following weeks were quite hectic in our lives, and most of the times it wasn't the good kind of hectic. There was so much going on with me, my parents, my kidnapping and my crimes that I found myself regretting my decision to let people search for my parents more than once. It was taking its toll on me, but it was a hell of a lot worse for Jordan.
There were days when he was too exhausted to even get out of bed, and I was the reason for it. I had to leave him all alone way too often, and the stress of not knowing if I'd end up in jail after all was making things so much worse.
And when the media found out about my story...
It was hard. Those months were hard. Harder than I thought they'd be. I wished so badly I could go back in time and change that...
But we made it through. I got so much help with so many things, and not just from Julia, but from complete strangers, and my own parents. One by one, all my problems were made to vanish either by my great lawyer, or by my parents settling things outside court. I hadn't even met my parents in person yet, but they still helped me anyway they could.
It took months, but in the end, I was a free man. I was still missing a citizenship, but my lawyer was working on that.
None of this was on my mind that day, however. There was no outside world, nothing that could distract me from what was going on inside the house.
After weeks and weeks of practicing, falling and getting back up again; after sleepless nights and hours spend crying on the couch; after so many steps down the stairs and so many steps I had to carry Jordan back up after he got overwhelmed...
After so many times Jordan interacted with his family outside his room, sometimes succeeding and sometimes running out of strength...
It was time.
We were going to have a family dinner, the entire family present in the dining room, on the first floor.
I held Jordan's hand tightly in mine when we stopped almost at the bottom of the last flight of stairs before the first floor. He buried his head on my shoulder and took a deep, shaky breath. The house was completely silent even though there were six people in the dining room, waiting for us. Julia, John, Jasmine, Joy, Jamie and George were all there, sitting in silence, just like we had practiced over and over again.
I could feel the nervous excitement in the air. It was difficult for me to even try to contain it. Although seeing Jordan so uncomfortable and shaky brought that excitement down quite a lot. I hugged him tightly and spoke soothing words in his ear. Walking down the stairs had stopped being scary to him weeks ago, but I wasn't surprised it was more difficult on this particular day.
We had been practicing sitting at the dining table alone, then with Julia, then with Julia and John and so on, until Jordan had become comfortable with them all. It was only two days ago when we'd been sitting at the table again with everyone else, and it had gone really well, but now Jordan was going to try to eat too. That was why he was so nervous again.
But he was such a strong, courageous man... It took him a moment to catch his breath, but then he lifted his head up, hope and determination written all over his face. And he smiled at me.
"Okay," he breathed out. "I can do this."
"Yes, you can," I told him with a wide smile.
We weren't in a hurry, and I knew he didn't want to burn his energy right in the beginning, so we stayed there for a little moment longer. Once he was ready to move, we walked down the rest of the steps, and stopped to take a breather again.
A few more steps, and we'd see the dining room... I tried not to think about it, since it made me nervous, and I feared Jordan would sense it. For a moment, I focused on my breathing, just like Jordan was doing next to me. It helped.
And then Jordan's hold on my hand grew tighter, and he took one step, then another. And another. The dining room came to our view, and I could see everyone turning to look at us, excitement shining in their eyes. Then, they remembered they weren't supposed to stare and turned back around in unison. I had to smile at that.
We'd all been waiting for this day so eagerly...
Jordan had to hug me again when his emotions tried to take over him. I couldn't even imagine how he was feeling at that moment. His entire family was right there, only a few feet away. For the thousandth time, it hurt me to think how lonely he must've been all those years while his family was right there, but still too far away.
"Everything is all right, my love," I whispered. "My baby is the strongest person I know."
He chuckled lightly against my shoulder. A very good sign. It took a little while before he was able to continue, but he was still in high spirits.
I knew at that moment that everything would go just fine.
Little by little, one step at a time, we crossed the hallway to the entrance of the dining room. Jordan's seat was the closest to us, at the corner of the table, with mine right next to him. Julia was sitting opposite of Jordan, and John right next to her. We had chosen this seating order to make it as comfortable for Jordan as possible. He trusted his mother the most, so it was safest to have her where he could see her.
His seat was exactly two feet away from us, but since it was such an emotional moment for him, getting to it took the longest.
But we got there. The moment he sat down in his seat, I was bursting from happiness and all the other amazing emotions, so keeping it cool for his sake was so, so unbelievably hard. He immediately hid himself under my arms, and I turned sideways so I could hold him. The others were silently holding back their tears. So did I. Julia had pressed both her hands over her mouth as she stared at her son, her eyes shining and unable to look away from him.
"You are so brave," I told Jordan, and I could hear a tiny sniff as a reply.
I wished so hard that I could just take his pain away... All their pain. The entire family had carried so much suffering with them this entire time, and I wished I could make it all go away. But I couldn't...
At least I could be there for them now.
Jordan stole my attention when he started taking deeper breaths. That meant he was getting ready. I caressed his back, kissed his cheek, and waited for him to lift his head up. When he did, I gave him a wide smile. It hurt to see his tears, no matter if spawned from happiness. He took a moment to wipe his face dry, still holding onto my hand. Then, slowly, he straightened his posture, but kept his gaze down at our joined hands.
Even slower, he turned to look at his family. They were all smiling and trying not to stare, but still stealing short glimpses of him. Jordan was nearly frozen in his seat, his whole body so tense I wanted to pull him back into a hug. But that was not what he needed at that very moment. All he needed was a little more time to get used to being there.
And he did. Of course he did! He had stopped being afraid of people a long time ago. No... It wasn't the people he had been afraid of. It was himself he'd been afraid of. He feared he would panic and hurt them, but I knew that wasn't going to happen.
"Hi," Jordan breathed out timidly, a shy smile on his lips.
"My sweet baby boy..." Julia whispered, and moved like she wanted to lean over the table to touch his hand, but caught herself quickly. "I'm so proud of you."
"We all are," John added quietly, wiping a tear away as well.
Jordan retreated just a little while they spoke, but regained his composure really well. He looked down at the food in front of us and took a deep breath.
"I'm so hungry," he said.
"In that case, we should dig right in," Julia smiled at him, and gestured to others to do exactly that.
It was actually happening... While the others started piling food on their plates and talking quietly among themselves to take the focus away from Jordan so he could catch his breath, I stared at Jordan, that beautiful man I had the honor to call mine. He had come such a long way during the months I had known him. If I looked hard enough, I could see traces of that man who had screamed at my face before fainting when we first met. Mere traces... He didn't even look the same. He wasn't pale, he'd gained some weight, his hair was shining, and so were his eyes. And that smile... It was wide and free and happy.
"Do I already have something on my face?" he suddenly asked, and I realized he'd been staring at me for a moment as well.
"You're gorgeous," I told him gently. "How could I look away?"
He blushed lightly and looked down to hide his smile from me. "You're being silly..." he whispered.
"It's the truth," I said, leaning closer to take his plate. "What do you want?" I then asked, turning to look at all the food on the table. There was a lot of it. It was like Christmas all over again.
"Little bit of everything," he told me.
"All right," I smiled.
I kept my eyes on him, enjoying the curious look on his face. He flinched a few times whenever there was a louder sound, but he wasn't getting overwhelmed. He listened in to the conversations around us, and little by little, his body relaxed. Once I gave him his plate, he grabbed his fork, but didn't start eating yet. I assumed he was too nervous to do so, at least in the beginning, but as the minutes passed, he was giving more attention to it, and finally ate a tiny piece of potato.
The voices around us were growing a little bit louder when everyone started easing into the situation, and getting used to having Jordan there with us. That didn't bother Jordan at all, and I wasn't even sure if he noticed it himself. I was the nerve-wreck who paid attention to absolutely everything.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Jordan asked me.
"What? Oh!" I chuckled, when I realized my plate was still empty.
He shook his head in amusement and carefully leaned in to kiss my cheek. "You're taking such good care of me that you keep forgetting to take care of yourself."
"I'm fine," I told him, kissing him back. "You are doing so great."
"And you are trying to change the subject," he replied.
I heard Julia chuckling at us across the table, and when I looked at her, she raised her eyebrows at me.
"He's not wrong. We need you happy and healthy," she told me.
"I am happy and healthy," I said reassuringly. "I'm the happiest man on earth!"
"I'm afraid I must disagree," John said. "I am the happiest man on earth."
"No, I am," George said, making us all laugh. "I'm serious!"
"No," Jordan said with a gentle smile, and we all turned to look at him. "That title is mine."
None of challenged him for that title. It belonged to him, after all.
"I'm so happy," he whispered, taking my hand in his under the table. "I'm sorry for everything I put you guys through, and I am thankful that you still stood by me and gave me everything I needed to heal."
There was no one with dry eyes at that table. Jordan took a deep breath and wiped his cheeks while none of us dared to even breathe so we wouldn't disturb him.
"I love you guys, and I promise, I'm not stopping here. I will get out that door and we will sell the house, and everything will be just... just fine..." he had to stop again to catch his breath because he was crying so hard.
I wrapped my arms carefully around him, resting my head on his shoulder and tried to ride the storm that was my emotions.
"I'm not stopping here," he said again, looking at his family. "Everything will be just fine."
And he was right.