Layla's pov
"Just kiss your mark please." he begged, repeatedly kissing my lips, I bit back a smile.
He had gone full possessive mode because, I touched Zach's chin. And because, Zach was staring at me in a way only he could. It was really attractive but, also adorable because, he was begging for kisses. I leant down, kissing my mark on him lightly and he shivered.
I pulled away, "Okay, we really need to go see Chester." I stated, his eyes now faded back to his original brown eyes.
(Play song now)
He kissed me one more time to wave off the nerves he knew I had, grabbing my hand to lead me to Paul's office. When we entered the room my once hopeful feeling in my chest, vanished. I felt my heart sink and my eyes widen at the sight in front of me. I caught Landon faintly calling my name as I walked toward the bed. I locked eyes with Chester's parents while doing so.
When I got to the side of the bed, I touched his cold arm, "I tried to do everything I could luna." I breathed in sharply, feeling as if the air from my lungs was being stolen from me.
I stared down at Chester's closed eyes, "No I mean, h-he was supposed to be fine." I felt my breathing pick up at the sight of his deathly pale skin.
"Love-" Landon started, his hand touching my forearm softly.
"No, I was just talking to him, he was alive." I claimed, my head becoming dizzy, warm tears sliding down my cheeks already.
"The wound was right underneath his lungs, it was too much blood, I didn't get there in time, his wolf was no help either." Paul muttered, I glanced from him to Chester's distraught parents
My vision blurred and my breathing became harsher by the second, "B-but, he was just t-talking to me." I stated once again, becoming light headed as I glanced down to Chester.
His mouth was stained with dried blood, my gaze falling to his stomach where a huge scar lay. That started from the middle of his rib cage, to the top of his belly button. It was sewn up with black stitches, dried blood surrounding it. I shook my head, he's dead and it's all my fault. He wasn't supposed to die, I was just talking to him, everything was supposed to be fine!
'Layla, he did it for you.' Mia tried to console my panicked state.
"Luna-"
"You were supposed to help him!" I shouted, turning around starting to gasp for air, Landon grabbed me to pull me towards him.
I shut my eyes, breathing in his scent trying to get my breathing under control. As well as stop my head from being so dizzy. Chester wasn't supposed to die, not because, of me. I was supposed to see him become this great person that I know was inside of him. He was supposed to meet his mate, have kids and live a long happy life.
My body fell limply and I felt myself being picked up by Landon as I got lost in my thoughts. He was just here, I was just talking to him, how could he be gone, just like that. I dug my head into Landon's chest, trying to gain some stability over my emotions. But, I couldn't, it hurt to know he was gone because, of me. He can't find his mate and have a family to love because, of me.
Chester's dead because, of me.
•••
While I sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. I thought about everything that has happened so far.
I jumped a bit when I felt Landon's hand rub my leg comfortingly, "You want to talk about it love?" he asked, locking eyes with me.
He rubbed circles on my ankles that were sat over his lap, "No." I whispered, it'll just make me cry more, he nodded.
"We can just sit here until you're ready." he said gently, I smiled a bit while looking into his soft brown eyes.
We stayed like that on the couch in comfortable silence. I couldn't talk about it right now, eventually I would. But, I hate that he's gone, I never would have found myself feeling sorrow for one of my tormentors. Yet here I was, completely mourning him, because, Chester wasn't actually a bad person he was just a sad follower.
His mother and father already spoke to Landon about the funeral being held tomorrow. They want him to be buried by the oak tree they grew, when he was a child. Across from the river Landon and I go to, he allowed it because, of me. The burial will be held at ten o'clock.
It was the next day and I was completely dreading going out. Every moment passing felt so sad, a gloom overtaking my every waking move.
"Are you ready?" he asked, holding out his hand.
I sighed, nodding my head and slipping my hand into his hold. Landon led me out of our bedroom and downstairs to the front door. When we made it outside we seen everyone heading to where the burial would be. They were all dressed in black and formal attire. The forest was filled with the pack, some even in their wolf form, lurking around.
The area was decorated neatly with white flowers strategically placed around, the oak tree having a white ribbon tied around it as well. Underneath it was a hole dug for the gray casket, that was right next to it. I blinked my eyes numerous times to stop the tears from coming out. Landon and I stood up front with Mr. and Mrs. Davis. They talked about their son and how much they regretted not talking to him much shortly before his passing. I was confused at that, why wouldn't they talk to him.
Afterwards some guards came to pick the casket up, slowly lowering it into the ground. That's when I broke, he was dead, he was actually gone. It was just the other day when he was talking to me, this can't be real. I turned my head away, burying my face in Landon's chest. His hand came to the back of my head, running his fingers soothingly through my hair.
He's gone.
•••
"Are you hungry?" I glanced to the side seeing Landon walking towards me.
I shook my head, staring at the oak tree in front of me. From my spot on the stump I had a perfect view of the tree. The ribbon was really pretty, I wonder if white was even his favorite color. I felt Landon sit next to me on a log that made him shorter than me.
"Mind switching?" he smiled a bit, trying to get me to, which I did.
"No." I replied, he rolled his eyes with a playful sigh.
"It's all my fault that he's gone." I muttered, Landon grabbed my chin softly to make me look at him.
"No it's not, Chester wanted to help you." he stated, caressing my chin with the pad of his thumb.
"Look where it got him." I glanced to the tree then to Landon's hazel eyes that bore into me with such love and sympathy.
"Listen to me." I looked down, "I remember the day of the ceremony, Chester begged you to not make him a rogue and you gave him a chance, why is that?" he questioned, slipping his hand from my chin.
"Because, I felt like he was better than what he was to me." I whispered feeling my eyes well up with unshed tears, my eyes connecting with dead leaves on the ground.
"Exactly, he told you he wanted to make up for what he did." he reached up, cupping my face between his warm hands, "Layla, he did." I looked up, meeting his gaze once again, some tears spilling over.
He stood up, towering over me and wiping away the tears that fell before he leaned down to kiss my head, "He saved your life and to me, that's more than making it up to you." he pulled away his hands, putting one into his pocket.
I watched him pull out a piece of paper, my eyes widening when I realized what it was, "Chester's letter." I whispered, he gave it to me and smiled softly.
"I love you." he kissed my forehead once again, leaving me alone.
As I watched him walk away, I couldn't help but, feel so grateful for him. If he wasn't here I might have just completely broken down. I looked away to the folded piece of paper, my heart feeling heavy at the sight of it. After taking a deep breath, I opened it up, the pages crinkling as I did so.
Dear Layla,
When I was younger, I was taught right from wrong, not by my parents but, from myself and my own experience. I would get picked on because, I was different than the rest of the pups. I hated it I always have, eventually we moved from that pack and came here. No one knew what had happened back then, no one knew I was different, that I was the odd ball out at my old pack. It was a good thing, I could completely change myself, turn into someone I wanted to be, loved.
Once Brad and the others befriended me I wanted to keep them as friends, I didn't want to do anything that made them unlike me. So, when they started to pick on you, the person that I was at my old pack was buried within my wolf. Only coming out upon seeing you, the person I used to be, the odd ball out. I guess I'm just trying to say every decision has an explanation, so I felt you deserved to know mine. Not because, I'm trying to justify what I did, never that, what I did was wrong.
I deserve everything negative I get my way, I deserve it all. I deserve to have an aching weighing feeling on my heart because, of the guilt. I deserve to have my parents hate me for what I did. I deserve to feel worthless. You're way stronger than I ever was, there's over a million words in the dictionary and still not enough to tell you how sorry I am.
Not a day, minute or second goes by that I don't think about what I did. I feel utterly disgusted by myself to ever have stooped so low, to have been so weak that I couldn't control my own wolf. I am a weak person, I always have been but, you, you're stronger than I ever was, always have been. You're a leader not a follower, I envy that a lot, I don't deserve what you have given me. I don't deserve to be shown mercy, it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right to be free of any punishment.
Everyday I want to earn the right to wake up and be here in this pack. Everyday I want to earn the right to be called a good person. Everyday I want to earn the right to be called strong, like you. I don't want you to regret this decision. I want to prove to you that I can change. That I'm not a bad person, that I want to be better.
I hope that one day I will be able to show you that. As always, I'm sorry Layla and I always will be.
Sincerely, Chester Davis.
~~~
I know, I suck, I'm sorry for the long wait, I've just been feeling really unmotivated. Plus I am working on another book and to juggle two books at a time, can be stressful. I've also wanted to perfect this chapter a lot and make sure it's good. So I spent lots of time double checking it and trying to find the perfect song. I think I did good, tell me what you guys think.
Also this was the hardest decision I ever had to make in a book. Whether to let someone die or keep them alive. My first thought was to let Chester die but, you all were telling me to let him live. I didn't know so many people would end up liking him as that's what I was going for since the beginning. But, in the end I decided to go with my first choice since that's what I wanted to do all along.
I also wanted to do an ask the author kind of thing. I know I was supposed to do an ask the characters kind of thing a while ago. But, I couldn't find the time, I'm sorry about that as well. But, this one I will do so if you have any questions for me or anything, I will answer!
Are you sad about Chester's passing?
Were you expecting him to die?
How do you feel about Chester now?
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I love you all and I hope you all have a great day/night/afternoon. <3