Connor had hung around outside. He wasn't quite ready to leave me alone.
The minute he heard the pleas for help, he rushed back in, eyes widening upon the scene
"Hey! What the hell happened!?" He scurried to help me back up
"I.. I fell.."
"Yeah, it looks like it.. oh boy, that's rough. Okay, you strike me as somebody with a first aid kit, where do you keep it?"
"One under the sink, one in.. in the bathroom downstairs and in t-the upstairs bathroom.."
"..Figures."
He put his arm around me, hustling me over to the couch
"Just stay still, alright?"
"Alright.."
"Good.. I'll only be a second."
I counted the seconds until he returned. I could feel blood trickling down my face, driving me crazy, not being able to wipe it away.
"Connor..!" I called back out, unable to wait any longer for the feeling to go away
"I'll be right there!"
"Please hurry!!"
Connor came back with the first aid kit, popping it open and sitting himself down on the coffee table.
He tore open a packet of antiseptic wipes, gently wiping my forehead with one. It stung at the source of the bleed, making me stifle a whimper
"I'm sorry" Connor apologized, applying more pressure to the cut
"It's fine.." I muttered through gritted teeth
With one hand he held the towelette in place, using the other to wipe the blood.
He lifted the antiseptic to take a glance, inhaling quickly through his teeth before he put it back
"Oh boy... looks like you took quite the spill.."
"I tripped.."
"Yeah, I can tell.. the bleeding's slowing a bit, and it doesn't look like you'll need stitches, so that's good.. you gotta be careful, Man, you could have really hurt yourself.."
I felt a slight tingle in my chest. As guilty as it made me feel, it felt nice to know he cared.
"...I'm sorry I yelled, I don't know what got into me"
"Hey, that's okay.. you've been through a lot today.. just try to take it easy, okay? I'll be here all day, up until six.. then Adelaide's gonna come and help you out, okay?"
"...what's happening at six?"
"I uh.. I have a date, actually" Connor smiled
My stomach tightened and twisted
"A date...?"
"Yeah.. My old boyfriend from high school.."
"Oh.... um.... have fun." I forced a smile, suddenly feeling nauseous
"Thanks.. he's taking me to dinner.. honestly, I didn't think I'd ever want to go out with him again, but man, once he showed up.. he knows me like the back of his hand, he knows how to get me to say yes" Connor chuckled, placing a twice-folded square of gauze over my forehead
"...he sounds great."
"Yeah.. I dunno, he hasn't always been the best .. but I think he's changed a lot.. we were together all through high school, up until last year.. I don't know, I think it's just going to be very casual, but I'm excited."
"Why did you break up?"
"Uh... it doesn't matter. He's different now."
Of course, he's got a date. Of course, it's someone else. He's found somebody, somebody much better than me. Somebody who can take him to dinner. And touch him.
I was stupid to ever think I had a chance. I can't even go outside, how am I supposed to take him out to dinner?
He deserves nice dinners out, he deserves luxurious dates and affection. I'm just sad that I can't be the one to give him that.
"..Well have fun, okay?" I blinked back tears
"Thanks.. I will"
-
-
-
"Have you missed me?" Connor's date smirked, throwing back his second glass of wine
"Yeah.."
"I've missed you."
"..what have you been up to?"
"What haven't I been up to? Just last week I was in the Hamptons, looking out at the city and drinking wine worth more than that shit car of yours."
"Oh..."
"I thought of you the whole time.. that pretty little face of yours."
".. I'm at the top of my class" Connor smiled, trying to find another talking point.
"Oh, McKinley, just stick with me, you won't need school.. you could stay at my penthouse all day, your only responsibility would be looking pretty for me.."
"..Steven, I like school. I really love it, I'm very passionate"
"You shouldn't have to worry your sweet little head about it"
"..I enjoy what I do."
"As you should.. how's your Halibut?"
"Oh.. it's good.. I don't know, I don't really like fish.."
"That's no fish, that's a hundred-twenty-five dollar Atlantic Halibut."
"Yeah, I appreciate it, I just.. the wine is nice!"
"Seventy dollars a glass.. only the best for you, you know that."
"Oh dear god.." Connor nearly choked on the drink
He'd already had two glasses. He tends to chug any beverage available when he's nervous. And these people didn't even ask before they bring you another glass, they're there with one before you even finish the glass you're on.
"I'm.. I'm used to drinking ten dollar wine out of a box, I'm sorry.."
"You can have as much as you want."
"That's uh.. very nice of you.."
"..You haven't changed a bit, you know... you're just as handsome as back in school."
"Thank you.. uh.. you haven't changed, either.."
He hadn't changed a bit. He's the same pompous ass he always was. The two could not have been more different. The man across from him at the table was the type that makes Connor's stomach hurt. But he knows Connor, he knows him well. He knows how to get the man to do anything he wants. He can play that kid like piano.
"..I love you, Connor. I never stopped loving you, not once"
"...You cheated on me."
"It was a one-night thing, you know that.. he didn't mean anything. He was just another pretty face."
"I was just another pretty face to you, too.."
"That's not true, you know it's not.. don't make me out to be the bad guy, McKinley, you're better than that.. I loved you.. come with me." He slapped several hundred dollar bills on the table, making Connor hold his breath. He felt out of place just being near that amount of money
"Where?"
"I want to show you something." He stood from his seat and beckoned Connor to follow
Connor followed him, his stomach hurting from the halibut he forced himself to eat, just due to the sheer expense of it. He washed each bite down with a swig of wine, but it still made him feel a little sick.
His date took him down the hall, into the coat closet, bigger than all of the closets in his place, combined.
"Woah, nice closet, you're not gonna murder me, are ya?" Connor chuckled nervously
"Don't try to be funny"
"I'm sorry.." Connor quickly apologized, falling back into old habits
"I love you, Connor."
"..You don't love me."
The man backed Connor against the wall, one hand up, just on his left.
Connor never had many friends. He never really had any. When Steven came along, it was a miracle. And the fact that he wanted him made him like flypaper to Connor.
"You think I'd lie to you? I'd never lie to you.."
For once, Connor's heart began to pump, despite how the two of them both knew he was lying again.
He took ahold of Connor's hip, purposefully playing right into his weaknesses when he finally drew in, it was passionate. Deep, and slow. He resisted at first, apprehensive about letting this man back in. But he's persuasive. And he's persistent. Despite the initial resistance, he sunk into the kiss very quickly when he felt a hand on his cheek. He knows exactly what he's doing. After all those years, he knows Connor like the back of his hand. He knows what makes him tick, and more importantly, he knows what he likes to hear. He knows exactly what to do to get him wrapped around his finger.
He bit gently and pulled at
Connor's bottom lip, nipping at it once again.
"Come home with me.." he whispered in Connor's ear
"I don't know, Steve.."
"Connor" he lifted the redhead's face, turning it to face him, "you think you're gonna do better than this?"
"I.."
"You're not.. I'm the best you're ever gonna get, McKinley.. you know that"
"I know..."
"Don't make a mistake, Connor.. look at me.. I can treat you so well, Baby. You won't have to worry about a thing ever again.. you'll live like a prince.. if you leave, you're never gonna get this chance again.. you'll never do as good as me and you know it.. say yes.."
"...Okay."
"Good boy."
He took Connor by the hand, pulling him out to his black, sleek car.
Connor felt sick, having Steven's hand moving up his leg. But he knew Steve was right, he wasn't going to do better. He was lucky just to get this chance, he can't be picky.
And maybe Steve could love him. Maybe Connor just didn't understand, maybe he really does love him.
He's never going to do better. He doesn't deserve better. Steve's right, he should be thankful for what he's got.
Maybe, in his own way, Steven really does love him. He can't afford to push that away.