-Jordan-
On Thursday morning, I woke up with a horrible feeling in my gut. I hadn't gotten much sleep that night, and I felt tired when my alarm went off. I made the bed, took a shower, dressed up, did my yoga, talked with Mom and Mr. Xavier, made sure my flowers were all right in the balcony...
I stopped to stare at the city in front of me. Blake would leave me, if not today, tomorrow. He said he would be gone for a week or two, but I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Especially if he didn't come back... The life I had before meeting him... I couldn't go back to that. I didn't want to go back to that! Why couldn't he see that? Why was he still planning on leaving me?
I shook my head. We had known only for a couple of weeks. I was being ridiculous. Why would he care about me, about some stranger he met in odd circumstances? Why would I care if he left or not? I definitely wouldn't have, if I wasn't such a freak who couldn't handle any kind of change in my life. After two weeks, we were barely acquaintances, two people who happened to talk for an hour every evening.
Shivers run down my body, and I returned back inside. Acquaintances... Now that wasn't true. Blake meant so much more to me, but I couldn't believe the feeling was mutual. It was too soon to even think about it, not only after two weeks. But... that man was special, I couldn't deny it. Or I was just so big of a freak that it was special only to me.
*****
I knew we were going to have that conversation today. I could see it in Blake's eyes when he climbed up on my balcony and smiled at me. He had to go. It was time. I wasn't going to be the first to bring it up, so I waited patiently for Blake to find the courage to speak up. It was his choice to leave, so I wasn't going to make things easier for him.
"How are you?" he asked carefully.
"I'm fine," I said, even though I was not fine.
I focused on getting ready to start painting. I grabbed my palette and poured different colors on it, waiting for Blake to continue speaking. He did continue, but he just talked about his day and asked about mine, and before I knew it, we had spent almost half an hour talking about everything else except about his trip.
When it started to seem like he wasn't going to bring it up at all, I had to change my mind.
"Do you have to leave?" I asked, interrupting him when he was telling me an old story about... I honestly didn't know what he was talking about since I hadn't been listening. He shut up in the middle of the sentence and looked at me timidly.
"I have to," he said with a sigh. "I don't want to – believe me – but I don't have any other choice."
I put my palette and brush away, and stepped back from the painting. I felt disappointed and miserable. The past two weeks had been the best in a long, long time. I had been thinking about Blake so much that I had almost forgotten that horrible day all those years ago. That day had never left me. I had never been able to ignore it so completely, not until Blake showed up.
"For how long?" I asked. "I need to know exactly how long you're planning on staying away."
"I honestly don't know..." Blake muttered and looked down at the floor. "A couple of weeks, maybe even a month."
"A month...?" I breathed out, and he gave me an apologetic look. "You are coming back, right?"
"Yes, of course. I already promised to come back, and I will keep that promise," Blake said hastily. "I can't even stay away from you anymore," he added with a boyish grin.
I studied him with my eyes. I wrapped arms around my body, trying to protect myself from the cold I was feeling all of a sudden.
"Don't go," I pleaded. "I can give you money."
Blake chuckled lightly and shook his head. "You guys need every penny you have. I don't want your money."
"Why do you need it anyway?" I asked and stepped next to the wall. "You said it yourself! You don't have an apartment, so you don't have any bills to pay."
"I need food," Blake shrugged. "I need supplies for the winter."
I was about to protest, but then his words sunk in. "Are you really going to spend the winter in the forest? It's too cold to live outside!"
"I just need some warm clothes and a better tent," Blake said like it wasn't a big deal.
"A better tent?" I scoffed. "Do you have any idea how cold it gets here?"
"What else can I do? That is the only way I can stay close to you," Blake said.
"There must be another way!"
"They will link me to all the robberies around here in no time," Blake said patiently. "If I get caught, I'm facing a couple of years in prison."
"A couple of..." I trailed off in horror.
"So, do you understand why I can't take any risks?" Blake asked.
I turned my back on him. I didn't understand why I was reacting so strongly. I had spent all my life alone, and Blake was just a stranger. I still didn't know much about him. I should be just fine even if Blake didn't come to see me anymore. Maybe it was for the best if he stopped coming for good.
I turned to look at him again, making up my mind.
"No," I said.
"What do you mean, no?" Blake asked.
"If you leave now, don't come back," I said.
Blake didn't reply to me at first. He had a deep frown on his handsome face when he stared at me.
"I can't keep stealing wallets here," he tried to reason with me, but I wasn't in a reasonable mood.
"You shouldn't steal at all! It's illegal!" I snapped at him.
Blake sighed heavily and pressed his hand against the wall. "What else am I supposed to do?"
"Go to someplace warm. Forget me," I said calmly. "Don't come back here."
Blake opened his mouth to protest, but I couldn't take it any longer.
"I think you should leave," I said.
"But–"
"Go! Or I'll call the cops! Get the fuck out of here. Now!" I yelled and marched to the door, shutting and locking it before Blake had the time to recover from his shock. I turned to look at him, and spoke clearly, making sure he understood my words. "If I ever see you around here again, I will call the cops."
Blake looked hurt and miserable, when he held his hand against the wall, looking at me with pleading eyes. I couldn't take it, I knew I would end up losing my mind if I let him stay in my life. I knew it would take me a long time before I could heal from this. Blake was now part of my daily schedule, and if he didn't come to see me at seven every evening, I wouldn't be able to take it.
If I let this thing between us continue any longer, and he would just leave me in the end... Even now I had to fight against the urge to hurt myself. The longing for pain had never been as strong in the past few years as it was now. If I let Blake stay now, I would grow more attached to him, and I feared that would be the end of me if he would leave me. Now, I still had the chance to return to normal.
I watched as Blake looked away, and took a step back. He let his hand fall off the wall when he turned to walk to the railing, and too soon, he was gone.
I stood there for a few seconds before my knees gave up, and I collapsed onto the floor, crying my heart and soul out.
-Julia-
I stared at my clock. I couldn't concentrate on my work while I waited for the time when I was allowed to call Jordan. I was tapping my leg nervously against the floor, and drumming the desk with my fingers. I listened to the sounds of the pouring rain outside. The thunder had started just a few minutes ago, and it was growing angrier by the second.
When it was finally nineteen minutes past eight, I couldn't hold back any longer, so I hurried to call Jordan.
"Jordan? Jordan, are you there?" I spoke and waited for his reply.
I wasn't sure if Jordan would answer me since I was one minute too early. It took a while, but eventually, I could hear his voice.
"Hi, Mom," he answered. His voice was heavy and raspy like he had been crying just now.
"Honey? Is everything all right?" I asked worriedly.
"Everything is fine," Jordan replied and cleared his throat. "You called too early."
It was obvious that everything wasn't all right. My heart was heavy with fear when I thought about Mr. Smith.
"Did he do something to you?" I asked sharply. "I swear if he hurt you–"
"Who?" Jordan's voice was suddenly timid when he continued, "I – I don't k-know what you're talking about."
"Quit the crap! I saw Mr. Smith on your balcony! What did he do to you?" I asked and was ready to call the cops on that son of a bitch.
Jordan was silent for a moment, but then he sighed heavily. "He didn't do anything wrong," he said quietly.
"Why are you crying? Why was he there? How did he even get up there? How did you two even meet?" I asked the questions that had been burning in my mind.
"He's a thief," Jordan said quietly. "He tried to rob us. The opera tickets he gave you were just a way to get you guys out of the way."
"What...?" I whispered. "He tried to rob us?"
Jordan laughed humorlessly. "Yeah... He thought we were rich. He came into my room that night – that was why I fainted."
"How do you know all this?" I asked.
"He told me. He's been visiting me ever since," Jordan said.
"What? How? Why?" I couldn't understand half of what was going on.
Jordan took a deep breath before he told me everything. I was amazed by how little I knew what was going on in my house. I was impressed to hear that Mr. Smith climbed all the way up to Jordan's balcony every evening, without getting caught or heard. I was amazed no one had heard him sooner.
"But it's over now," Jordan said, and his voice grew shaky again. "He's not coming anymore."
"What? Why!?" I gasped.
"He has to leave, so I told him not to come back. I can't let him ruin my healing progress," Jordan said quietly.
"But – no! He can't just leave!" I said. "I saw how happy you were with him! He's the first person who has gotten so close to you! He can't just leave now!"
"Mom – he's a criminal," Jordan reminded me.
"You said you trust him, right? Where is he now?" I asked and got up from my seat.
"I think he's packing his bags right now. He has a tent in the forest somewhere," Jordan said.
"All right, I'll go look for him," I said.
"Mom no – don't go. I can't take it if he leaves me," Jordan begged me.
"Then we just have to make sure he doesn't leave," I said sternly. "I'll call you when I find him."
"But – Mom–" Jordan tried to object, but I silenced him.
"No buts – I will find him, and then we all will sit down and have a little chat," I spoke. "I'll call you later. Bye!"
I exited my study and hurried down into the garage. I had my hiking boots and raincoat down there, and once I had changed my shoes, I grabbed the raincoat and a flashlight, before heading out into the storm.
"You're angry today," I chuckled at the sky. "I guess you don't want him to leave either."
I took a firm grip on my flashlight and walked to the vine Blake had used to climb up on the roof. My poor vine was badly damaged, and I was surprised I hadn't seen that before.
"You shouldn't treat my plants so badly, young man," I muttered and turned to look at the tall hill.
I could almost see the trail Blake used to get down and back up again. I knew that the weather was getting dangerous, and the hillside would be slippery to climb right now, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I walked to the other side of the backyard and looked around to see if anyone saw me before I started climbing up.
It took me longer to reach the top of the hill this time, but I made it. I stepped on the trail Blake used to move around, and hurried towards his camp, hoping to find him there. But, it turned out I was too late. I found the place where I had seen his camp, but now it was all gone. Blake had already packed his bags and moved on.
"Damn it," I sighed and turned around.
I could see my neighborhood far down below me. I wondered how Blake got into the neighborhood without getting noticed, and I remembered the small gap on the tall stone wall close by. That had to be his way in.
I didn't waste a second when I started to run towards the walls. I couldn't see them through the thick forest, but I knew where to go. It didn't take me long to find a small pathway between the bushes, and I was sure that Blake had used it whenever he had needed to visit the city.
I hoped that I would get to him in time, but after a long run down to the walls, Blake wasn't anywhere to be found. I knew that if Blake had gotten past the wall already, I could never find him again.
My fears seemed to come true when I saw the shadow of the wall right in front of me. I saw the ditch that ran through the gap on the wall. It was flooding already. There was no way Blake could have gotten through it. I couldn't even see it under the dark water.
I stopped to take a few deep breaths, and I shone the light around me. Which way Blake could have gone? I saw some trees near the wall, and I was about to give up when I saw one of the branches. It had snapped in half, indicating that someone had climbed on it.
I could have given up, but I could only think of the happy face of my son. I didn't care about the fact that Blake was a criminal. I cared only about my son's well-being. If a thief could make him smile, then I would run to the end of the world to find him again.
I hurried to the trees and shoved the flashlight under my belt before I started climbing. Blake couldn't have gotten too far. I could still find him if I was fast. I wasn't that good of a climber, but the trees had plenty of branches to help me.
Once I was high enough to jump on the fence, I stopped to take a breath. I didn't care how dangerous it was for me to be climbing up in trees in that stormy weather, but I couldn't give up, not when I was so close already.
I balanced my weight on a thick branch and moved closer to the wall, and when I was sure I would reach it, I jumped. My heart skipped a beat when I flew towards the tall wall. I slammed hard against it, but I was able to get a good grip. I hauled myself up, and sat sideways on the top, before looking around.
There were just more trees around me, and I could barely see the dark water under me. But there was something else in the shadows, just by the wall.
"Blake?" I called him when I saw a figure laying on the ground. "Blake!"
I grabbed my flashlight and pointed it down. The light revealed a huge bag, and I sighed in relief. It was short-lived when I moved the light. It found a pair of legs close to the bag, right next to the wall.
"Blake!" I gasped and tried to find a way down from the wall.
The stone wall was at least twice as tall as I was, and there wasn't anything I could use to climb down. I had no choice but to drop down, so I took a firm grip on the edge before I moved my legs over it.
The drop wasn't that bad, but I still fell on my butt when I hit the ground. I hurried to get back on my knees and crawled next to Blake, turning him on his back. He was pale, and I could see blood coming down on his face from a deep cut he had on his forehead.
"Blake? Blake!" I yelled and tried to shake him awake.
I looked around, but the road was far away, and there was no one crazy enough to be outside in that weather. Blake was too big for me to drag all the way to the street through the bushes and tall grass. I tried again to wake him up, and for my relief, he soon let out a groan. I hadn't noticed that I had been holding my breath until I needed to let it go.
Blake opened his eyes and looked around in confusion before his eyes met mine.
"You gave me a scare!" I yelled over the thunder. "Come on! We need to treat that wound!"
"What?" Blake muttered and looked around. He saw the fence next to us, and his eyes grew wide like he had remembered something.
"Get up! The weather is getting worse by the minute!" I yelled, knowing I was right.
The wind was blowing so fast that I could hear the trees cracking and screeching around us. The rain was now pouring down so hard that I couldn't see far, and the thunder was right above us. Blake looked around and sat up, and I had the feeling he was thinking about escaping, but I wouldn't have that.
"I know who you are, and I know you've been seeing my son!" I yelled at him. "You have to come back now! If you care about Jordan, you'll come with me! I promise I won't get the cops involved! My son needs you!"
After that, I got up on my feet and helped Blake up from the ground. He looked awful when he grabbed his bag from the ground. He turned to look at me with a careful gleam in his eyes, but when I started to walk towards the gates, he followed me.
"What happened to you? You are bleeding!" I asked.
"I tried to jump over the wall, but I slipped. I think I hit my head when I fell," Blake explained at the top of his lungs so I could hear him.
"Once we get back home, I'll take a look. Right now we need to hurry back inside!" I shouted.
I gave Blake a stern look, and he shook his head.
"Jordan told me not to come back. He doesn't want me in his life."
"He's just afraid, that's all," I said. "Once we get back, we'll have time to talk and figure out everything."
"You said that you know who I am, so you know I'm a criminal!" Blake yelled and stopped.
I grabbed his arm and forced him to keep walking.
"I know that, and I don't care," I said sternly. "No one else needs to know about it, so if you just keep your mouth shut, we're all going to be just fine!"
"Why do you want to help me?" Blake asked.
"Because you have helped my son," I said. "Now come on! We have to get out of here!"
Blake didn't reply to me. He followed me quietly all the way to the gates, before he spoke, "Thank you for finding me."
"You're welcome," I said with a smile when we continued walking up the street, through the horrible storm.