"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
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"Hey." Monica and I glanced back to see Rachel step out of the shower.
"Hey." She greeted us.
"How was the big anniversary dinner?" I cut up the fruits while Monica tossed them into the blender.
"Well...we never actually got to dinner." She answered.
"Nice." Monica and I chuckled.
"Uh, no, not really. We kind of broke up." Rachel grabbed the pitcher from behind us and went to the kitchen.
"What?" Our heads shot to look at her. Of course, Monica hit the button on the blender that had no top on. The three of us screamed before Monica turned it off.
"Oh my God! Monica, it's on the ceiling." The three of us looked up to see the orange–colored smoothie.
"That's okay. This is more important than fruit...on my ceiling." Monica whined but eventually let it go.
"You broke up?" I went over to Rachel.
"Yeah, but it's okay because when Ross left, Mark came over." She poured herself some orange juice.
"Oh, no! Rachel, you and Mark?" Monica cried out.
"No, no, it's okay. Calm down." Rachel said to her. "Mark and I talked, and I realized how much I love your stupid brother and..." She wiped smoothing off of us. "Yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work." She admitted to us.
"This is great!" I cheered happily. "What would make it better is if we didn't have smoothie on the wall." I raised an eyebrow at Monica.
"If you're so bothered by it, you can clean it up." She suggested.
"Why should I? You're going to clean it up anyway." I stuck my tongue out at her.
"She's got you there." Rachel backed me up. A bit later, Rachel headed to work, but I stayed at Monica's apartment, watching her mop the ceiling.
"It's your favorite guy in the whole entire world!" Joey came into Mon's apartment.
"And what makes you think that?" I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Because I bet you want smoothies." He pulled out a tray of smoothies from behind him.
"You genius!" Monica took the drinks from him and set them down on the dining table.
"God, it's my favorite guy in the whole entire world!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him all around his face, ending with his lips.
"Sweetie, you know how much I'd love to continue this, but Ross needs to talk to me and your brother about something." He pecked my lips a couple of times before leaving. I turned around to see Monica mopping with one hand and drink her smoothie with other.
"Multitasking. I like it." I sat down at the dining table. Once she finished, she joined me at the table.
"Hey, guys. Monica, I saw the mailman downstairs, so I brought up your mail. Yours, too, Suparna." Phoebe came in and set down a box along with a bunch of envelopes. "Now, what is 'Fabutek'?" She asked.
"Okay...alright, don't judge me too much, okay? But I saw this infomercial, and, um, I swear to you I have never, ever bough anything on TV before...except for this mop." Monica motioned towards it. "But there was this stuff on leg waxing, and it just looked so amazing—" She rambled.
"Waxine!" Phoebe and I cried out at the same time.
"Yes! Have you guys seen it?" Monica's eyes widened in surprise.
"It's incredible!" I exclaimed.
"I so want to be a Waxine girl!" Phoebe pointed at herself.
"I know!" Monica agreed.
"God...do you think it really doesn't hurt? 'Cause how can they do that?" Phoebe asked us while ripping open the package with the product.
"Hello? 'Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rainforest'?" Monica imitated the guy from the Waxine commercial.
"They have the best stuff in there." I gushed. We sat on the edge of Monica's bed and had a desk in front of us with the wax, popsicle sticks, and strips. "'After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one...'" I read off the little pamphlet included.
"Did that." Monica added the last strip to my left leg.
"'Grasp one of the linen strips by it is easy–grab tab and pull it off in one quick pain–free motion'." I finished.
"Okay." Monica grabbed the tab of one of her strips. "Ow, ow, ow!" She screamed in pain after pulling it off before whining and holding her leg.
"Is it not pain–free?" Phoebe asked her.
"No! It was painful!" Monica shouted. "Oh my God. They should call it 'Painzeen, now with a little wax'." She scoffed, still shaking in pain.
"Huh. Well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don't seem to think it's that bad." I shrugged.
"That's because they're nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid." Monica retorted. "But, hey, you know, if you two don't believe me, please, be my guest." She motioned at our legs.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh my God!" Phoebe shouted as she ripped hers off.
"Could one of you put me under some anesthesia and then rip it off?" I smiled nervously at them.
"Do it before I do." Monica threatened.
"Fine, fine." I hesitantly pulled one of the strips off. "Holy Mother of God, that hurts like a bitch!" I yelled and started to cry from the pain.
"Now, aren't you two glad we didn't start with the bikini strips?" Monica winced from her still sore leg.
"We're just going to have to...rip them off of each other." I sighed. And that's how our screaming match began.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" I ripped off Monica's, who ripped off Phoebe's, who ripped off mine. Once we finished that, we just held our legs in pain.
"Ah! Hey!" Joey and Chandler came running in with a tea kettle and a copper pan.
"We're alright. It's okay. It's okay. We're alright." Phoebe assured them.
"We were just waxing our legs." Monica blew air and fanned her right leg.
"Off?" Chandler questioned.
"For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience." I groaned.
"I don't think you can make that statement unless you've been kicking in an area God only meant to be treated nicely." My brother pointed two fingers at us.
"I think women just have a lower threshold for pain than men, that's all." Joey waved it off. "Come on, it's just a little wax." He looked over at me.
"Oh, yeah?" I grabbed his hand and used a popsicle stick to add some wax onto his hand. Then, I pressed a linen strip to the area and waited for it to dry.
"That is so mature." Chandler stuck his tongue out at me.
"So now what? I just pull it off?" Joey nodded towards his arm.
"Yeah. That's right. Uh–huh." Monica, Phoebe, and I smirked at him. Joey pulled it off and let out a whimper.
"What were you saying about women having a lower threshold of pain than men?" I repeated his words. But he didn't get to answer when we heard Rachel and Ross come into the apartment screaming their heads off.
"What?" Monica furrowed her brows.
"Nothing. Nothing." Chandler and Joey shared a look.
"Rachel said everything was okay." I got off of the bed and pressed my ear against the door to listen in.
"What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?" Rachel yelled at him.
"Where...where did he put it?" Phoebe whispered in question.
"Ross, you had sex with another woman!" Rachel announced.
"Oh, God. Poor Rachel. Oh, my God." Phoebe, Monica, and I covered our mouths in shock.
"I knew something had to be wrong because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday." Phoebe shook her head.
"Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk—" Chandler started.
"You guys knew about this, and you didn't tell us?" I smacked my brother and boyfriend upside their heads.
"He had sex, and we got hit on our heads." Chandler turned to Joey.
"I'll hit you again if I have to. Or if I want to." I spit out at them. Phoebe sat on the ground, Chandler right above her, Monica standing above him, Joey on top of her, and me at the top on Joey's back, and all of our ears were against the door as to listen to the conversation.
"How was she?" Rachel questioned.
"Uh–oh." Chandler winced.
"Was she good?" Rachel continued.
"Don't answer that." Joey shook his head.
"Come on, Ross. You said you wanted to talk about it, so let's talk about it. How was she?" She shouted.
"She was..." He trailed off.
"Awful. Horrible. She was not good. Nothing compared to you." Chandler and Joey listed out.
"She...she was different." Ross answered. The five of us groaned in response to his answer.
"Good different?" Rachel emphasized.
"Nobody likes change...I—" That's when we heard a bunch of yelps in pain, which meant Rachel was hitting Ross.
"Sh–Should we do something?" Phoebe stuttered out.
"Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel." Chandler moved away from the door.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I was–I was disgusted with myself, and this morning, I was so...so upset, and then I got your message. I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as poss—" He explained.
"Woah, woah, woah. Wait a minute." Rachel cut him off. "What time did your little friend leave?" She didn't get an answer, but she didn't need one. "Oh my gosh. She was there...she was still there? She was in there when I was in there?" She raised her voice. And then Rachel started to hit him again while yelling names that I didn't ever want to hear out of my best friend's mouth.
"You know what? I don't think we should listen to this anymore." Joey adjusted me on his back and reached a hand to the doorknob.
"We can't go out there." Monica muttered to him.
"Why not?" Joey asked her. "I'm hungry." He complained.
"Because they'll know we've been listening." I reminded him and got off of his back
"You know what? I think we can got out there. They have more things to worry about." Chandler supported Joey.
"We'll be fine." Joey waved it off.
"Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you. I thought I should, I did. And then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to." We overheard Ross tell her, making the three of us girls look at the guys.
"Wax the door shut. We're never leaving. Ever." Chandler handed me a container of the wax. Phoebe called her work with Monica's phone.
"Hi, it's Phoebe. Listen, someone's going to have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehak 'cause it's, like, 9:15, and I'm not there." She said quietly.
"You'd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me and been naked with me and made love to me? " Rachel asked her boyfriend, or ex–boyfriend.
"Yes." Ross grunted out.
"If you knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were—" She detailed.
"La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!" Ross yelled and interrupted her. "Okay, okay, yeah, it...I would have been devastated, but...I would still want to be with you...because it's...I mean, it's you." He admitted to her.
"Aww..." The five of us smiled.
"Joey, honey, if you do anything remotely close to what Ross did to Rachel, we're over." I whispered to him.
"Wouldn't even dream of it." He pulled me in for a kiss.
"Gross." Chandler, the immature child–in–an–adult brother he is, pretended to throw up. Everything became much calmer and quieter.
"We could eat the wax. It's organic." Phoebe suggested.
"Oh, great. Food with hair on it." Chandler grimaced.
"No, not the used wax..." She clarified.
"Because that would be crazy?" He gave her a look. The five of us got onto the bed. Joey sat on the right side with me in his lap. Monica rested upside down with her legs towards the ceiling. Chandler and Phoebe sat next to her on the left side. The five of us ate the disgusting wax.
"They're going to get through this, aren't they?" Phoebe asked.
"Come on, it's Ross and Rachel. They've got to." Chandler nodded his head.
"What if they don't?" I lay my head on Joey's chest, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and held me.
"Hey, it's 3:00 in the morning. They don't know that I've come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am." She pointed at herself.
"People can be so self–involved." Joey shook his head. We moved over to the door to listen in again.
"Look, look, there's got to be a way we can work past this. Okay? I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you. Without–Without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart, Rach, and–and..." Ross said.
"No. I can't, you're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can't stop picturing with her. I can't...it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It's just changed everything. Forever." The two were crying at this point. The five of us, crammed into Monica's room, sobbed silently as well. I rested my head on the door while Joey hugged me from behind and buried his face into the crook of my neck.
"This...this can't be it. I mean..." Ross stammered out.
"Then, how come it is?" Rachel let out a heavy sigh. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe were laying on their stomachs on Monica's bed. I sat in the armchair while Joey sat in front of me on the ground.
"They've been quiet for a long time." Phoebe broke the silence.
"Maybe she killed him." Joey guessed sadly.
"Let's go." The five of us got up and slowly walked out of the room. Rachel was sleeping on the couch. Joey carried my things, and we headed to my apartment.
"God. I can't even imagine having to go through that." I let out a shaky chuckle.
"Don't even think about it." Joey wiped away the rest of my tears and kissed my forehead.