"You said, 'you want to come over for some lemonade?'
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"Janice has a question." She referred to herself in the third person. "Which one of the seven of you has slept with who of the seven of you?" She inquired.
"Wow, it's like a dirty math problem." Phoebe giggled.
"Um, sorry, the answer there would be: none of us." Ross pointed out the obvious.
"Come on, none of you ever got, you know, drunk and stupid?" She asked.
"That's really a different question. And the answer to that is all of us." I chuckled slightly.
"I'm sorry. I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much together as you guys do has never bumped uglies." A couple of us laughed.
"Well, there was that one time that Monica, Suparna, and Rachel got together." Joey spoke up.
"What?" Monica exclaimed in confusion.
"Excuse me, there was no 'time'." Rachel crossed her arms over her chest.
"Joey, what are you getting at?" I glanced down at him since I was sitting in his lap.
"But let's say there was..." And the truth comes out. "How might that go?" He nodded his head and smirked.
"Okay, okay." Janice waved it off. "Well, then answer me this. Have any of you ever...almost?" The seven of us stayed quiet in response.
"Does anybody need more coffee?" We all broke out to avoid the awkward conversation.
Three years earlier...
"Hey." I walked into the apartment. "Sharon wanted me to get her a stupid latte, but it was 'too hot', so I put into the fridge for a second, and she was like 'it's too cold'." I mimicked my boss. "Do I just leave Calvin Klein? It's not like I'm going to get a promotion if I can mess up coffee." I grumbled.
"You'll get there. It's going to take some time, but you'll get to the top." Phoebe reassured me.
"Like that's ever going to happen. I'll probably die giving Sharon her coffee." I groaned.
"Hi." Chandler came in with his goatee. I seriously hated him for growing one in the first place. The three of us waved and greeted him. "I'm never going to find a roommate ever.
"Nobody good?" Ross inquired.
"Well, let's see." He put his hands on his hips. "There was the guy with the ferrets. That's plural." He added, making me and Phoebe grimace. "The spirit. Oh, the guy who enjoyed my name so much he felt he needed to make a little noise every time he said it. 'Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing. Bing!'or 'Great apartment, Chandler Bing. Bing!' " He listed out annoyingly.
"So how many more do you have tomorrow?" I leaned back against the couch.
"Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull, and this actor guy, who I'm not sure about because, uh, when he called, and I answered the phone 'Chandler Bing', he said, 'Woah! Short message'." Monica came in with the basket of laundry.
"Ross, foot on the floor and come over no more." She rhymed.
"Sure. Your dresser is missing, but this she notices." Ross muttered.
"What?" Monica glanced back at us.
"I have to go." Ross replied. "Yeah, Carol should be home by now." He headed over to the door.
"How's it going with you guys?" Chandler asked him.
"Better, actually." He replied. "You know, I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately."
"Oh, really?" Phoebe handed me the box of cookies.
"You know how I have you guys? Well, she doesn't have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she met this woman at the gym—Susan something—and they really hit it off, and I think it's going to make a difference." He explained to us. The next day, I headed back to my apartment from the gym.
"Well, okay, Jerry, thanks for stopping by." I guess this is one of Chandler's potential roommates. I glanced over to see a really cute guy.
"Hi." I smiled and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear.
"Hey." He winked at me flirtatiously. I blushed and bit my bottom lip shyly. As soon as he walked away, I turned to my brother, who was writing something down in his notebook.
"Oh my God." I mouthed to him before walking into my apartment. A couple of days later, I stepped out of my apartment to see the cute Italian guy. "Hi again." I gave him a smile.
"Hey." He smirked at me. I picked up the newspaper, and he watched me while taking boxes into Chandler's apartment. I guess he's the new roommate.
"Thank you so much." I whispered to him.
"Don't thank me. Thank the jerk that never showed up." Chandler sounded really salty. "Okay, I got to get to work." I noticed the briefcase in his hand.
"You want some help with that." I pointed at the boxes and offered.
"No, but thanks. I got it." He replied in a strained voice as he picked up a box. He was about to fall back.
"Woah!" I chuckled slightly, keeping my hands on his back to steady him. "You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. Whoo." He let out some air. "I stood up too fast. Got a little head rush." He waved it off.
"It's the heat." That's when I noticed my hands were still on his figure. He glanced back at me and smiled while I took my hands off of him. "And the humidity." I laughed nervously.
"That's a, uh...that's a tough combination." The smile never left his face.
"Do you want to come in for some lemonade?" I suggested.
"Like you wouldn't believe." He followed me into my apartment. "Wow." He said, and I shut the door behind. "This is a great place." He walked in.
"Oh, thank you." I scratched the back of my head. "Just...make yourself comfortable." I set the newspaper down on the dining table.
"Got you." He winked at me and pointed a finger–gun at me before heading to the living room. I grabbed the pitcher of lemonade and went to the other counter. I grabbed a couple of glasses.
"You thirsty?" I asked while pouring the lemonade into the glasses.
"You bet I am." He replied.
"Okay. Here's your—penis!" I exclaimed when I turned around and saw him completely naked. "Oh my God! What the hell are you doing?" I put down the glasses and held my hands up.
"You said, 'you want to come in for some lemonade?'" He repeated in an overly–sexual tone.
"So?" I exclaimed.
"Were, uh...were you just going to give me lemonade?" He realized.
"Yeah–huh!" I yelled. "Would you just cover yourself up?" I begged him.
"Right. Sorry." He apologized and put his boxers and jeans back on.
"God, I can not believe this." I shook my head. "Someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you, that means they want to have sex?" I was still in shock.
"Um, usually...yeah. Well, not just lemonade." He stood up. "Iced tea...sometimes juice." I sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I just...thought you liked me. I'm such a jerk." He slipped his shirt on.
"It's okay. It's just...you're my brother's roommate. It could happen to anyone." I waved him off. "Not specifically anyhow I know, but...you forgot your zipper." I turned around.
"So, Chandler's your roommate? You two came from the same set of parents?" He questioned me.
"Yeah, we did." I chuckled. "Is it because he looks really smart, and I look stupid?" I looked over at him.
"No. You're beautiful." He gave me a true smile. "You know what? I don't usually do these things, but if you and I are still single in a year, and I'm still your brother's roommate, how about you and I give a relationship a try? We could get to know each other for a year and see where it goes." He suggested.
"We've got a deal." We shook hands. "What's your name?"
"Joey Tribbiani." He answered. "You?"
"Suparna Bing." I smiled.
"Maybe we'll have to change that last name. Later that night, the six of us went to the bar downstairs
"Ross, you're right. I don't know why I always thought this was real grass." Phoebe sat on the pool table.
"Honey, you okay?" Monica rubbed Ross' back comfortingly.
"My wife's a lesbian." He confessed.
"Cool." Joey nodded his head and smiled.
"Ross, Joey. Joey, Ross." Chandler introduced them. And that was the start of a beautiful friendship.